Writing things down is cathartic, they say. It helps one understand what they are going through and also look at it from a more, shall I say, detached view point. It’s like history: you read about it, analyze and think about it and then you learn and grow as a person for that experience. I am constantly amazed at the number of people who actually go through life without doing this, thereby never growing as persons. If I think of myself when I first started this whole sugar dating thing, it simply started as a lark. You know, one of those things where you just figure you will try it once, and then try it twice if you like it and then move on to something else. I don’t need a licensed therapist to tell me that I was being narcissistic and selfish in my desires. I simply liked women too much, and I liked the whole scene and experience of flirting with them, taking them to bed, pleasing them sexually and watching their reaction while all this was going on. A great sociology study or experiment you might say. In that case the allowance became just a way to grease the wheels, so to speak. I found it interesting that you could basically stop most women of any age and background in their tracks with visions of allowances of other types of material things. And still amazed on the things some women will do for material gifts. So, I get that I was being selfish, we have established that. What else was going on? A reader of the blog emailed and asked if I was addicted to sex. I don’t know if I was, I like to think that I wasn’t. I didn’t think about it all day or even every day. I did pursue it very vigorously though. Even when I found myself rolling my eyes and thinking ‘here we go again’ I still pressed on and saw those women. A reader of my book sensed my dilemma and a certain sense of regret from my older posts and said ‘This will always be a part of you’. Fair enough. Us men can argue it away, and we can also argue that we are still great family people etc etc but that’s just excuses. We were dogs and behaved as such, no two ways about it. What fun it was though, good Lord.
One of them most interesting things I found was the different types of women that go into sugar. Example: I seriously don’t think that my better half would ever be a sugar baby. She would totally frown at the idea of a man taking care of her, and accepting an allowance in return for companionship is against her nature. Most of women I met at work are also like that. Looking at their personalities they would find this whole type of dating offensive. The only way they would do this was under a condition of stress, like a job loss or an incredible once in a lifetime opportunity. I knew a Chinese woman who slept her way to becoming a trader at JP Morgan. In her case she lucked out. Hope her husband don’t find out though! So after socializing with dozens and dozens (and more dozens) of ladies I think I had developed a pretty good radar for who is the one that will go into sugar and who will not. Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t look down on anyone. I love everyone (there are a few exceptions). I just think it is a different type of woman that would go into sugar. I think it is a worthwhile endeavor, especially if there are career benefits involved as long as you don’t meet abusive people. It just not something I would recommend to my young female cousins, as society doesn’t look kindly upon this lifestyle. Also, I don’t trust most men that are out there as SD’s, to be honest. Not everyone is a gentleman such as I, lol
Another interesting thing is that I still remember some women that I met. I still wonder, for example, how my favorite pharmacist from San Fransisco is doing. She asked me if these women changed my personality. They did in ways that I need to describe on a separate, special blog.
So now I am at the point whereby looking upon my history I cant believe I slept with so many women. Clearly, I overdid it, and I don’t think I would do the same things all over again. My family always told me I have a compulsive personality to some extent. So when I did some great stock trades I was all consumed by that. When I taught myself a foreign language, I was consumed by that. And then, when I got into sugar I was, you guessed right, consumed by that thought. As they say, go big or go home, right? Right. I wonder what the next big thing will be for me. More sugar? Learning a totally new skill? Yet another language perhaps? If so, which one? I ‘ll take Korean lessons by a nice Korean woman if there is anyone around. Will pay market rates!