I have searched far and wide during my travels and adventures. Why is it so difficult to find a woman who can do this the right way ? I only met two in my whole life and I have found that most can’t even be taught. Something about timing, momentum etc
I blogged about this before a while back , but today this came back to mind as I was walking around midtown (my cardio exercise).
It happened right after I came back to New York from down South. I had only been here a month when I got a call from Tina my old friend from Katy, Texas. She was in NYC on her way to a family function in Maine. She had brought along her 6 year old son who proceeded to jump on me and being a cute playful little kid, as if I was his own father. And then we all went for a quick bite and everyone would treat us like a family. It felt awkward to me. And the awkwardness only went away when Tina asked me to get on my knees so I can fuck her doggy (her son was at another relatives room during that time). Interesting, no?
I hate to be a flake but…here was the deal. I had met this lady in her late twenties, very attractive in the pictures she sent. Also attractive in person but less glam. But that’s ok I don’t really care about glamour. So she was nice attractive sweet with curves etc. The “gifts” she wanted were also reasonable. A perfect SB you might say. However, since the first minute we sat down for drinks I couldn’t see myself in bed with her. She did nothing wrong..she was attractive with a cute butt (I am a butt man more than a boobs man). But yet..I couldn’t do it. All I could think about is how would I be in bed with her, what would I do, would I even maintain a hard on? Would I even be aroused? Just because someone is nice to look at doesn’t mean much I guess.
Contrast this person to a Brazilian I met who exudes sexuality just sitting at a Starbucks with her. Alas we didn’t agree on the arrangement..
So anyways, an hour before the second date I cancelled. Darn it, I hate when I start having second thoughts about stuff. A brain can be a dangerous thing
You know when you first meet someone and the chemistry is great and then you try to set up a second meeting and they drop the ball? (Not responding on time, or feeling prudish right after sexting etc etc, silly stuff).
In that case interest goes down as fast as a rock. As attractive as they are, there are just too many others out there who are attractive in their own way, and can make up for the lost opportunity
I know it sounds a bit masochistic but I find breakups interesting from a social and emotional standpoint. And after all, this blog and my sugar life were originally started as a self reflection and social experiment of sorts. It took a twisted turn at some point but my good intentions were there…
Anyhow, whenever I break up with someone it feels very contemplative. In most cases there was a plan B already in place. In some cases (the most interesting ones) there wasn’t. I remember when Serena walked out after giving me a quick kiss. That sucked and I admit it made me depressed. I liked her a lot. And now she is like 34 and married with a home pet. I remember going down to one of my favorite bars in Greenwich Village on 4th street (the Slaughtered Lamb, and no I am not a paid sponsor unfortunately) and taking my place in the corner at the counter with my Financial Times in hand and sipping a little scotch, quietly. As much as I like to think I am smug, that hurt. What also hurt was the fact I was a bit selfish, ‘a taker more than a giver’ as she said. I was offended to hear that. Of course I was married and she was also seeing a lawyer and then a professor in his late 50s (I used to call him gramps) but I was in pain for a few days. And I thought to myself: was I being self destructive ? I mean what did I really expect from these women. Fun, for sure, and in most cases no entanglements. But being human, stuff happened and sometimes they spin out of control. I played with fire and lost. One time, I went back to someone (a few months after the first break up). She seemed hurt when she asked me “Why did you stop seeing me?” I didn’t have a good answer. What could I possibly say? She had done nothing wrong, quite the opposite she was very sweet and bubbly. I guess I just had ADHD and had to move on, always in search of something while missing what was right in front of me. And the pattern repeated itself a few times. Which meant, of course, more trips to 4th street. I found myself feeling isolated like a stranger among other strangers just waking around and noticing all the little details one never noticed before in their usual busy daily lives. Like the stoop on a brownstone and who was sitting on it. Or an architectural feature of an old interesting building. Or a mother carrying a baby.
And true to form I had a first date with an Asian the next day, lol
Sometimes I really wish I was a one woman kind of man. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and I found that out at age 18 I thnk that if I had been a bit more patient I would have experienced better relationships with some nice ladies
I can’t believe it. I was reading a famous steak restaurant review. One of the reviews was describing the people who go there as: “business people talking about deals or older men with hot younger women”! So, sugar had made its way even to restaurant reviews in New York. Go figure