You give me egg roll I love you long time

Here is a little story, from more than 20 years ago totally politically incorrect but here it is because that’s how trading floors used to be back then. And who are we kidding sometimes they still are.

This was in Hong Kong before it reverted back to the Chinese….
Anyways, I was there with my boss and we were taken out and wined and dined during the day. Our host, observing that I was squeamish about Oriental food I didn’t recognize went to great lengths to explain what each item was like fish eye balls, shark fin soup etc
After hours he took us to this strip joint and as soon as we walk in he told the manager of the store ‘These are my bosses from America if you don’t show them a good time they will fire me’. Well one of those fine ladies had a problem with foreigners and cried out ‘foreign devils’ and stormed off. Awkwardness ensued. Needless to say the manager was very apologetic, the girl companion was replaced by another one who also gave us a mediocre neck massage. Didn’t cost us a red penny either. Using our friend as a translator, we communicated that we were bored out of our minds after a few days there and we wanted some action. My boss said ‘Dave this 40 year old Thai is eye balling you do you want her?’ At the same time I was actually eye balling this Indian woman who was dancing on the counter in a bikini. Her look though was a but too wild like she could stab me in my sleep. That sort of thing.  I said ok fine and we all took them back to the hotel ‘The Mandarin’. She spent the night there and the next morning she said I should come to Thailand for my next vacation. I agreed and there is a great town there called Fukit which I always wanted to visit. Or is it Phukit? Lol
The door knocks and the boss comes into my room looking very concerned ‘David there is a very touch subject I need to discuss and I apologize for barging in here, but when we get back to NY you can not tell anyone especially not my wife what happened here last night.’ Of course I wasn’t planning to. But that was a very good business lesson that I still remember: Don’t fraternize with the employees and do NOT do anything sexual in plain sight. It can be used to gossip or blackmail later on.
The next day we flew to London where I was visibly sick due to some bad Chinese….
The Britts started busting my chops: ‘Is Davey sick? Awww. Whats the matter Davey did you catch syphilis in China? Is a skeeter on your Peter? And then of course the old egg roll joke that appears on the title of this blog. All the while I was trying not to laugh and still keep the contents of my stomach from spilling all over my Bloomberg terminal

One small detail: I do regret not taking the Thai and the Indian both at the same time that night

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