So what was that?

Even to this day I get emails, every now and then, about College.  Longtime fans read older blogs about her and ask me what ever happened to her, how did it end, and have I sorted out what it all meant to me.   The answer is, that I am a bit challenged when it comes to emotional analysis in real time, and it takes me a while (and I do mean along while) to process things.

Well, now that it’s been over, I can analyze it with the benefit of looking back historically. All things ought to be analyzed like that.  I don’t feel happy I left her. I do feel sad. When I told her I had feelings for her I really did mean it. Who would have spent years with someone, anyone without at least some that? No one. The question is, why would a man of my background become so interested in someone half his age, from a different borough of New York City? Manhattan IS the best, no? When people say New York, they don’t mean the Bronx, do they? I wouldn’t mind banging a 35 year old Hispanic woman from the Bronx, to be honest, every now and then.  But I digress.. I want to analyze a serious relationship with  a former sugar baby…

My point is that there must have been something beyond sugar and casual sex that lead me to her and made me stay with her. It was my emotions for her. She didn’t believe me when I told her that, but I can not think of anything else, for the life of me. So then why did I walk away for no particular reason? She did get very close and she saw me very upclose, like no one else has. Ever!  I admit that at first I didn’t mind. But is that really allowed of a married man?  No sir.  What we are doing here is already a sin, technically, and I need to go to confession one of these days. Haven’t been since the age of 17.  But graduating this to a higher level, and becoming so emotionally entangled with her? How can I possibly disrespect my people this much? So, as soon as I realized that I had to do something, i.e. end it cold turkey. It just could not keep going like that. I just set out to meet women casually, not pretend I am 20 years old again and have a serious thing with them.  What was I thinking. I AM of a certain age. I should act it then, and not let these things get out of hand like they did given the fact I am the mature one here. I did so many mistakes which I can’t erase, regrettably. But life goes on. And even though I admit I get sad thinking about her, there is no looking back now.  Off to the gym, in an attempt to get that six pack back on me. I am in better shape than most men my age but I still want that six pack, darn it.  It’s still bikini season

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4 Responses to So what was that?

  1. Harry says:

    Hello
    Have you ever hooked up with sugar nannies from backpage?

  2. Esther says:

    Does your wife know you’re a sugar daddy? If she does what does she get out of this? Why did you become a sugar daddy? Do you have kids? Do they know?

    • Hi Esther,thanks for reading.
      No one knows about this side of me…period.
      Why did I become a SD? Its really quite a long story, also outlined in my brilliant book ‘Sugar Daddy diary’ on Amazon.
      I guess I did it because I was looking for something different. Maybe a bit more excitement like hadn’t experienced in recent years. Maybe looking to fill a void I thought was there. Or maybe a combination of all the above

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