Just to clarify a few things about older men

I get emails from readers of the blog and my book asking me about their older sugar daddies or boyfriends, and a lot of them sound confused about what to expect, what to think about their situations, and what are their older men really looking for. So let me try to give my opinion and simplify the world a bit, as I see it. I am an older man (although not quite middle aged just yet) so maybe I can help. Someone was surprised her older ‘friend’ with whom they had a great first couple of dates at bars and coffee shops and showed a lot of interest, just simply vanished without any further communication. Another older man seemed to just be so emotionally available to her, that it threw her off and the whole thing entered the relationship zone for 6 months before they broke up.
In fact, I was in bed with Alex once, and almost in tears she asked me ‘Am I a one date girl?’. I finally got her to admit that she slept with an older man and he never showed up again.
A couple of things:
1. Older men are still men, remember. They are older but they are not quite dead yet. And like all men regardless of age, they love pussy of any kind. Period.
2. However, here is where they may differ from a younger man: A man in his forties or fifties now has a couple of decades of experience, which means he can recognize a mistake when he makes one, and has the judgement to reverse course. Here is a little example: A situation may enter the relationship zone. But if the guy is married or recently divorced, he will think logically about everything instead of acting impulsively like a younger man or woman would do. So in that instance he will pull away, surprising his younger woman. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like her. It just means that by logic, the situation wouldn’t make any sense to him. And that’s that. It makes more sense, logically, to bite the bullet now and end everything early on before things get out of hand and more messy later on.
3. And then there is the other type of older gentleman who may think: ‘Well, I am 48 years old now, married with 2 kids and a serious job, so I just want to see if I still have it after all these years..’. So he tries to get in bed with a 25 year old. Once, just to see if he can do it. And then he vanishes. Mind you, older women do exactly the same thing: More than one slept with a 24 year old David when he had six pack abs, just to see if they still have what it took..
4. Yet another type of older man is the guy who says (like the Lavazza coffee commercial) ‘In life there is always more to taste’. If I had to categorize myself, that would be me… I see everything, personally or professionally as a learning experience. I may let myself fall for you. And if you fall for me I won’t stop you. And we will have a great experience together. I don’t care if I get hurt or even disappointed in the process, I just like the experience of having lived the experience. Girls, if you meet someone like me, learn from them, and just enjoy the moment before its over the next minute. Because logic might take over. Eventually I will remember that I am just ‘transient’.

Apologies for the rambling, I already had 4 glasses of rum and coke tonight, alone.
I wonder when will be the next time, if ever, when I will hum that great Merle Haggard song ‘Last night we had a hell raisin’ time, Nippin’ on tequila and suckin’ on limes’. Walked around tonight after I went to the gym, beautiful weather in NYC, and all the pretty people walking around as well. They were not walking next to me though..

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4 Responses to Just to clarify a few things about older men

  1. DowntownLASD says:

    Best post I’ve read from you in a long time, David. You really thought this through, and I see myself in every one of these examples.

    1. This is how I have approached sugar from the beginning. It’s a chance to get laid, and if it’s presented to me with no reservations, I’ll take it.
    2. My two month relationship with Leah, which got too intense, too quickly. Logically it made no sense, and I ended it abruptly. It pissed her off and she never forgave me for it.
    3. Pretty much every girl I’ve been with I’ve seen as a personal challenge, to see if at my advanced age I can satisfy a much younger woman.
    4. This was my relationship with C/Hayden in a nutshell. It was a glorious, exhilarating, fulfilling, yet painful, heartbreaking, and sobering experience. I’ll never forget her, even when I’m taking my last breaths.

  2. Midwest says:

    As an unmarried sugar daddy I might be more emotionally available and also more willing to get into a relationship with a sugar baby, but I am very unlikely to get into a traditional long term relationship with someone half my age. I like the fact that this is understood up front and there is little drama about it.

  3. Finpick says:

    I’ve never had an older man, this excites me more than I thought it would. Always figured they’d know how to turn on the “light” without stumbling around, stubbing toes, before giving up 3 minutes later.

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