Dangerous Liaisons?

Dangerous Liaisons was a book by a French guy from the 1700’s, Pierre de Laclos that was also turned into a John Malkovich movie some time ago. It was a comedy of sorts, whereby the main character and his female accomplice try to experience as much as possible, by ways of seduction and eroticism. In the process they met, had dinner/drinks/parties with a rather large array of people from all walks of life, personal backgrounds, and age groups. But it is much beyond just the sex and the seduction. The main characters also used these opportunities as a way to explore the limits of their rationalism. What I mean by that is that they tried to keep sexual pleasure apart from their emotions, at all costs. In their eyes the worst offense was to lose control of one’s emotions. In the end, however, they lost the battle to their emotions by causing someone to fall for them, and in turn they fell for it too.

I have to say that the book and the movie really remind me of what I experienced in sugar. It is something that is essentially NSA by definition, however at times there is this battle of keeping our emotions in check. And a couple of times they took over (especially once, did they ever!!). We meet someone that is intriguing and attractive at the same time, and over time something might click and then they enter our minds at unexpected times. Hence the battle of controlling ourselves, knowing that we are not 100% available to anyone and they are also not 100% available to us either. And that’s quite all right actually.

It’s this ‘struggle’ and this experimentation and the feeling of a wide range of emotions (lust, ‘like’, fear,even infatuation) that makes everything a worthwhile adventure, a departure from our mundane lives that are full or work, long hours, responsibilities to colleagues, clients etc. Don’t you agree?

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3 Responses to Dangerous Liaisons?

  1. DowntownLASD says:

    Oh, do I ever agree! Falling the one time that I fell was the worst decision I’ve made as a Sugar Daddy. Especially since I’d ended the arrangement early on because I sensed that my emotions were starting to creep into the mix. It’s a decision that I play over and over in my head constantly.

  2. Seeking Guidance says:

    I think most will agree that falling in love is a horrible idea in the sugar world. The question is what upfront boundaries can be put in place in order to prevent depth of emotion while still allowing for an overall rewarding relationship that isn’t just transactional.

    I ultimately had a bad experience with my first sb and looking back, it was mainly because she liked to blur the NSA lines. I was extremely cautious about emotions and checked myself pretty well for the first several months, but I ultimately got drawn in over my head.

    As with all other types of relationships, the best ward is to look at what the sb does rather than what she says. Of course she’s going to say nice things, but if she rushes you, cancels dates and is otherwise presumptuous about scheduling, never contacts you outside of setting up meetings, that tells you all you need to know.

    It’s perfectly ok if the SB doesn’t care about the SD in a meaningful way, but its NOT ok for the SB to be disrespectful about the SDs time.

  3. Benjamin@MKE says:

    Actually this is why I went the SD route after an affair, (it eventually went the “leave her” route).

    Being a SD it seems to keep that separation a little more clear.

    There are more than a few girls in that 21-24 age group that find a decent lookng 40-45 y.o. but attractive. And these ladies are very good looking. So it can be real hard for both sometimes.

    I’ve found having a leading conversation which gets her to say something like “I am not looking to change your situation,” or some variation works. Then follow it up with affection, or what you appreciate from her to keep that previous thought positive…

    If that makes sense!

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