Sugar babies into girlfriends

Its tricky because the premise of the relationship started as NSA and with sugar (gifts or allowances) involved.  Then, over time it transitioned into something else, with real emotions involved.  The transition is tricky.  It gets into the gray area where you are spending time with someone like you would with a real gf.  But then sometimes you feel guilty for not providing the sugar, and you feel like she thinks she is getting the wrong end of the stick.  So on the SD side you have these real feelings which are sprinkled with some self doubts.  On the SB side: you also have real feelings but then is she thinking in the back of her mind ‘I could be getting an allowance from someone else’?  It was crossing my mind that maybe she was thinking about that. And that made the relationship a bit on edge sometimes, at least for me. Emotions don’t pay your rent, right?  So then you try to find some type of balance: emotionally, financially, spending the time (the most precious commodity).

Some SBs have told me that after they start seeing their SDs more seriously they start getting jealous and set up fake profiles to spy on their SDs. They even contact them using these new fake profiles to see if the SD responds.  Any SD’s out there: learn the subtle hints which are usually reliable. Inbox me and I will tell you how.  I wonder how some those relationships have developed. Any readers out there who have turned into GFs from SBs? How did that work out for you?

Amanda, also featured in my famous book ‘Sugar Daddy Diary’ started feeling that it was going down the gf path, and she promptly pulled out.  I never told her anything about feelings for her nor did we ever talk about that seriously.  I wonder what would have happened if we had. Anyways, that’s history now.

College said once: If both parties agree, then why not go ahead and do it? You only live once. If it develops into a real relationship everything is better and not just sexually, but everything.  I agree with that and that’s why I can never get over my relationship with her and will always remember it.  What I remember the most is the affection I felt for her, and also the fact that I made a difference in someone’s life in a positive way (after all she was only 20). A difference not only from the gifts I got her but also the experience of having an adult relationship with someone and also learning how to think and how to face certain situations in life as well. Pretty valuable, I think.

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7 Responses to Sugar babies into girlfriends

  1. That is a lot of trouble to go through to find out if SD is still searching or cheating even when the desire and committment is in place to begin a relationship together with that SB. Too much trouble or it is just the african woman in me, there is no time or place for jealousy or possessiveness. Not to say jealousy is not healthy in relationships, it is and should be so as long as it is with maturity and in context, but to start chasing a man around to know if he is cheating, that is a lot of work!! My hair will be gray before i know it.

  2. @Dr Issy: you mentioned that jealousy is a good thing in a relationship. Why do you think that’s the case?

  3. Jealousy, in a healthy context for relationships reinforces commitment and a desire to love and want one’s partner. in a way it is a selfish expression of love, just like God tells us to serve no other God but him, He calls himself a jealous God. When it is unhealthy is when it is coming from a place of insecurity, past relationship baggage of trust issues and then manifests itself as rage, anger and possessiveness; that is more of a delusional type of jealous. the healthy one is the one that flames and keeps the passion of the romance alive, it is that which allows both parties not take each other for granted and it shows the value you place on each other’s presence in your lives that you do not want to miss or lose. when it happens in little doses it is great and necessary to keep the relationship alive. it is like the words love and hate, I told a friend if you are done in a relationship and say you hate that person, there are still very strong feelings that warrant addressing there but if indifferent, it means that person means very little and is no longer relevant. that is why jealous has a role to play because it is a reminder of why the 2 persons are together and what they share is so inestimable and cannot be reciprocated with another. like how you felt about college taking on other SDs when there was a somewhat of an agreement to be exclusive. it showed how much you were scared to lose her or the romance you shared with her. that reminds me would you feel the same way with your wife if she is lunching at 1pm clock work with a male friend of hers, that relationship is purely platonic but they meet as scheduled every other day and she shares her deepest thoughts, fears and hopes with this man, knowing you do not know the half of those thoughts. so it is something to ponder on and I will like an answer. you can always email that to me, if you want to keep it private. it is worth thinking about.

  4. Jake says:

    If the sugar relationship turns into a real committed relationship does the allowance also end? I’m not sure how to address this problem.

  5. @Jake: that is exactly the question that made me write this blog post. On one hand my thought is ‘I am not paying for an emotional relationship’ On the other hand I don’t want her to feel cheated out either. So while I didn’t continue with a regular allowance I did spend $ on other things she needed. I have also heard of SBs who stop accepting an allowance once the relationship turns into something else beyond sugar dating

  6. well then that will be the test needed to see if the evolution of the SD/SB arrangement is real and genuine. if the gifts/money stops or are not as frequent, does she continue to seek this out with other SDs telling you that is only money? after all not all relationships do we get gifts and money, what if it was one where you are not that financially sufficient? so yes, it is food for thought.
    As for SD david response I believe the need to keep on the sponsorship is to discourage the need of her seeking it else where and losing her attention which was the premise of the SD/SB connection to begin with, 0therwise what if you were at financial difficulty, she is supposed to be a woman in a emotionally committed relationship with you, would she not understand that times are now hard and you cannot do things as they were before? also I believe the sugar continues so as to keep the power of the relationship in the hands of the SD wherein if it was not there, like other relationships there is no guarantee it might not just end.

  7. DownUnderSD says:

    Allowance!
    It is what sugaring is all about and what sets it apart from regular dating. Its a buzz killer when it comes to developing feelings for your SB.
    On the one hand you know you cannot stop it because your SB probably needs it. On the other hand, as long as you continue doing it you will *never* know if her feelings are genuine.
    Then again, as long as it feels genuine… what more can one ask for.

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