Pay as you go or allowance for sugar babies?

As we know there are two ways for a SB to get her sugar money: either a monthly allowance paid at a agreed upon time of the month, or a ‘pay as you go’ type of payment. I have done both of those at various times and with various people.  I admit that I do prefer the pay as you go, but that just because I have some trust issues. After all who is to say that the SB will not just pocket the monthly allowance and then take off never to be heard from again?  I get emails from men who complain about exactly that, and it seems to have happened to several people.  So SBs, don’t blame the guys if it takes them a while to trust you ok? Chances are, they have been burnt before.

When I first started in the sugar lifestyle I met someone and we were discussing the pros and cons of allowance vs. pay per meeting.  She offered some pretty good insight to me and what she said has stuck with me since.  This lady said that as long as the ‘pay per meeting’ method is done in a respectful way and not treated like an escort service, it is fine.  And then once a more longer term arrangement develops and trust has already been established the gift can come in the form of a monthly allowance.  So that is the method I used on several occasions.

Trust is an issue though, in all of this.  Think about it: what if you agree on an allowance and then after receiving the allowance the SB decides to break it off for some ridiculous reason.  Perhaps because of my profession and because we deal with finance colleague jackasses all the time (well, some of them are) I was raised to believe what the Romans used to call ‘Caveat Emptor’ i.e. buyer beware. Good advice for sugar, for business and for life in general.


This entry was posted in mutually beneficial relationships, No strings attached relationships, NSA, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Pay as you go or allowance for sugar babies?

  1. duh? says:

    I don’t get it. you want a sugar baby but can’t stand when they keep the money? isn’t that whole point of sugar babies? they aren’t doing this for their health, they’re doing this for the money. why are you annoyed that they would “pocket” the money and leave? it’s weird how you complain about the money when you chose to be in that type of lifestyle.

  2. @duh: What I mean to say is that they would ‘pocket the money and leave’ without fulfilling their end of the bargain. It’s called ‘mutually beneficial’ for a reason. I have been told that there exist women who just take the allowance from the unsuspecting SDs and then just vanish without carrying out their end. I am not complaining about money, I am complaining about SBs who don’t play by the rules, thereby spoiling it for everyone else, men as well as women.

  3. Of course, everyone has the right to refuse sex. I say, if there is no chemistry, then no sex, and of course no arrangement either. The SD also has the right to move on and find another lady with which the situation will work for the both of them. Do remember, this type of dating is called ‘mutually beneficial’

  4. good morning everyone. nice tuesday, clear skies here. Well i am with both of you, SD is right in that it is his money and use it as seem fit and yes, a deal is a deal but Duh is also right in that, well SB can well within her right change the rules when she decides to and if it means pocketing the money and not laying on her back, more power to her. like the lady in the 20/20 episode, who was celibating with her mormon guy. she is not having sex. all the same there is such a fine like with this mutually beneficial arrangement and prostitution david, you have to at least admit that. it is that thinking that made me in my relationships not ask for money, gifts are within reason; birthdays, a celebration for promotion or just that he traveled out of the country and thought to get me something nice. money makes it a little complicated for my taste and integrity.

    • duh? says:

      you’re very insightful Dr. and you also noticed that david glossed over the prostitution question. I personally don’t have a problem with it but saw an episode on the dr phil show about sugar daddy sites and some people on the show called it” legal prostitution” which I never thought about before until I saw the show. just curious what a real sugar daddy feels about that.

  5. I have no ambiguity about this. I prefer the “pay as you go” method, and I’m respectful in how I handle it. Typically, my SBs never see the transfer of money, and once they pick up their purses they find a little envelope with a tasteful card and some nice green faces in it, along with a message signifying my gratitude and respect.

    If an SB insists on a monthly allowance at any point because, well, she feels she’s earned my trust, I end the arrangement. I’m in the driver’s seat, not her. Just as there are plenty of men willing to abide by her terms, there are many, many women willing to abide by mine.

    • joanne says:

      @DowntownLA SD
      so you are not hiding that you are paying for sex – basically hiring an escort.
      whether she sees the “transfer of money” or finds an envelope in her purse, it is what guys do when they pay an escort after sex – they put an envelope with cash in her purse lol
      you calling this a SB/SD relationship is pretty ridiculous — why not call her an escort?
      no offense to escorts, that’s how you treat her though

  6. that is why in my home country of Nigeria, there is a saying, what did you do to earn the house he bought you? he meaning boyfriend or lover; the perception is the lady must have had to pay with her female parts to get that type of gift it obviously was not her discovering the vaccine to HIV. the only exception is marriage and it is no longer her gift but theirs as in the home is their home. that is why the SD/SB arrangements are not my thing, as david and other SDs have commented on this blog, they have the power to stop everything, so imagine a girl living above her means, then one day SD is done , he has had his fill of her and is onto the next, he pulls the rug underneath her and I can bet she did not even see it coming and there is no plan B in most of such cases. she is back to square one living the poor life she always had that may not have been an issue then but how does she now adjust from shopping as neiman marcus to going back to walmart, mind you I shop at both easily because it is my money and I work hard for it. as liberal as I am in my thinking, I still have my culturally conservative and traditional upbringing. I exchange gifts with my partner and the gifts have to be within reason as I stated earlier.

    • I love DOGS! says:

      your amazing! I want more Feminist like you in the world! I think I’ll finish school first , before dating old wired guys….

  7. @ Duh: I have answered the ‘legalized prostitution’ question in other parts of this blog so I don’t want to repeat myself again. This means I will make you read the entiiiire blog. And I have also discussed this in my book ‘Sugar Daddy Diary’ available on Kindle and also in print. If you buy the print version I will autograph it :)

    • duh? says:

      make me read the entire blog?? lol you’re mean. ok, I guess I’m on a mission. I’ve thought about buying your book. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet but so far your book sounds really interesting and I’ve read good reviews about it.

  8. Carol says:

    All of this blog is of great interest to me as I am a newbie SB wanna-be. There is a great deal of insight here, thanks.

  9. scubadan says:

    I have just ended a non-formalized Sugar Daddy / Sugar Baby relationship where for 6 years a woman I wanted to be with was only taking and taking, and never giving. I felt like a sugar daddy with non mutual benefits. I was a fool, and I have now moved on.

    So here’s the question: I think I would like to get into a formalized SD/SB relationship that IS mutually beneficial. I don’t make millions, but I was thinking $1,300 to $1,500 monthly, with spontaneous gifts as well and travel as well. Is that a fair price. I am reading that some SBs get $5K, $10K, or $20K a month. Is that normal, or is that the SB pot of gold?

    • The amount you mentioned seems fair and realistic, and it also depends on the city you live in. $1K in Dallas is different than $1K in Tulsa and different than $1K in New York city.
      Now I have also heard of and spoken to some SB who claim they receive $5K or more per month just for accompanying someone to a dinner or theater once or twice a month. So yes, it seems like the pot of gold. But in my simple man’s opinion that type of amount is and should be reserved for a very deep connection like that one would find with family or a wife. Not a SB (basically a stranger not related to me). I suggest you avoid those women with an inflated sense of their own ego or ‘self worth’

  10. Bruce says:

    For men, if you hire a sex therapist to treat you by busting a nut in the afternoon, then you meet your Sb in the afternoon you will soon realize their true value. Most of them are over paid for their time. It’s all the chumps paying above fair market value.

  11. Bellami says:

    Let’s not be selfish here I have fallen a victim to a SD who says he does want a long term arrangement and don’t want a type of escort transactional per meet or short term as you like to call it I would meet up with him 5times a week agree on 5k monthly went out with him over a month I had to ask for the allowance he said I would give it to you the next day guess what he blocked me I never got my allowance after wasting my time so nobody is a fool think I would want a monthly allowance again hell no! What I have from each meeting is mine the rest might be history think about it this way after meeting your sugar daddy and he fails to provide the allowance what will you do ? Oh well I move on …guess is that simply thinking of the time you investing in seeing him if it was a per meet situation would be much easy to handle why becos you only waste one date without getting nothing and it quite easy to call it off, from his end you agree to be available on as discussed gives you an allowance upfront With his term you agree and suddenly you disappear am sorry that’s cheating and deceitful and I wouldn’t do it to anyone so don’t tell me a SB can do that cos she is not obligated to see you but then she agreed and took your money no darling that don’t work ,I have met a multi millionaire who said he would take care of my needs not stating am actual allowance but gave me a 5 star apartment in an upscale area ,fly me on private jet shoppings and exotic holidays and I get up to 20$k from him in cash so I can’t complain but if was to be some casual guy SD I would at least want to hear a figure lets be realistic you can only find a very small percentage of SD who doesn’t want an intimate relationship so if the money for sex makes you an escort well so be it or don’t do it ,it’s always safe to have an arrangement with a SD you might be sexually attracted to .

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