Older SBs

Once I got an email from an older SB that has a young child.  She was in her late 40’s and was constantly putting herself down (via email) saying that no one can possibly be interested in her and that men generally, and especially in sugar, prefer the younger and single bombshells.  The stereotype of course is that, yes, SDs are interested in younger women.  Many SDs I have exchanged emails with have also said that if the lady is over her late 20’s or 30 they wouldn’t even consider seeing her.

Is a woman who is 40+ doomed not to ever be able to become an SB?  Well, lets just say she has certain odds stacked against her.  Many men would expect that, at that age she wouldn’t be in a position to need an SD in the first place.  They figure she would either be married or in a position to support herself.  Fair enough, then again, what happens if it is a woman who just ended a bad marriage?  She might be someone who at the age of 40 finds herself without a companion and without the financial safety net that a marriage can provide.  So in that case she may turn to sugar dating because she has heard a lot about it in the press, or maybe even read my awesome book on Kindle.  So would she be at a disadvantage? Yes, but there are men out there who actually respect the fact that even an older person may have some temporary financial needs and therefore needing a SD.  So several men, may think to themselves ‘Hmmm she is not a spring chicken but she does look pretty sexy anyway and is trying to help herself get out of a bad situation. Nothing wrong with that, let’s try this’.  This hypothetical women will not be able to compete against younger, eye candy type of women in their twenties.  But what she can offer is maturity, and many men actually are looking for that, even though the looks may not be like that of a 22 year old.

One thing this lady kept doing however, was to put herself down with too many generalizations like ‘oh I am old’, ‘been burnt before’ etc., etc., i.e. too much negative thinking.  Come to think of it, it is the negative thinking that is the turn off in that case, not the age or a wrinkle here or there. After all, who would want to be around that?

This entry was posted in mutually beneficial relationships, No strings attached relationships, NSA, sex with older women and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Older SBs

  1. True statements. The lack of confidence alone is discouraging, she has her maturity as an advantage over a younger lady, at least she will be more in check with her emotions, more respectful of boundaries considering the SD may be married and she will definitely put that money to better use for her child and herself. She needs to get over her insecurities, then everything may well fall in her favor.

  2. My Mrs. is in her late 40s, and gorgeous, and sexy, and I can’t keep my hands off of her. But she’s my wife. If I’m going to shell out significant cash for time with a beautiful woman, I want her to be as different from my Mrs. as possible. I do not enter into arrangements with women over 40, or any woman with children, or any married women, or any women in significant romantic relationships with other men. Single, under 40, no kids, and that’s it. PLENTY OF OPTIONS within those parameters! See my latest blog posts to get an idea.

  3. @Downtown: I do same: I figure if I am to have sex outside the house might as well be different than my old lady, and also hotter and into different things too.

    • Amy says:

      I am an older woman in my 40’s. if I were a man looking for something outside of my marriage there is no way I would want to risk the relationship I have with my wife for a 20 year old. She would deliberately get pregnant and there is no way in hell I would want to start all over. I would prefer an older good looking woman who is wild in bed and full of adventure who could not get pregnant.

  4. Thekitty says:

    Hello :)
    I am that European girl that emailed you once, about a trip to the Seychelles, that never happened.
    I said I would be more active on your blog, and this article particularly caught my attention.
    I want to give my two cents on this topic and send to some comforting and motivational words to that woman.

    I think there is room for mature sugar babies, just like there is some room for mature ladies in conventional dating.
    I would even say, there is a “market” for mature women.
    That older woman are now being sexualized, and not just respected, is a new trend.
    It can be observe in the pornographic industry with the MILF (Mom I’d Like to F*ck) phenomenon. It can be observed in the entertainment industry with all those “cougars” : demi moore, jlo, madonna, paris hilton (she got herself a baby, it’s barely legal !, jennifer aniston etc…
    On sugardaddie . com I even saw some profiles of younger men (early 30’s) stating that women under 35 were not welcome to apply.

    Mature woman are sexy, and they can be desirable !

    I think one important thing that woman should keep in mind is that, when it comes to dating, it is all about marketing yourself.
    That woman should understand that she is not “old”, but she is more “refined”.
    She has not been damaged by life, she has gained experience and wisdom
    She has a kid ? Well good ! Because you have sugar daddies who are divorced and with kids too, so they can relate to her.
    There is also something about older bodies that are charming. I am 23 and I prefer older men. I do not like smooth babyish faces, I do not like smooth skin, I prefer strong odors, wrinkled dry skin, a denser figure. A marked face tells you a story and it is beautiful to look at. Some men out there are just like me, they prefer older women, because, they are more “flavorful”.
    Men tend to think that older women are more experienced in sex.
    A single SD, genuinely seeking company, will enjoy dating an older woman with whom he can connect. The hardships an older SD have been through, only an older woman can understand them because she has experienced them throughout her life.

    My advice to that woman:
    -You need to “sell” yourself, as if you were at an interview for a job !
    -Think hard about what you can bring to the table.
    -Try to find blogs of mature sugar babies,and get some mentors’ tips.
    -On a sugar dating website, use “keywords” when searching through SD’s profiles, such as: mature, MILF, cougar, older, wise etc… It will save you some time.
    -Don’t be afraid to send messages to men you feel they are looking for an emotionally mature girl. You might not bit the bill age-wise, but if you have certain attributes, you can maybe have him rethink his age brackets.
    -Open one account in a conventional SB dating website, and others in unconventional SB websites, such as : Okcupid, Misstravel, Xhamster, but be upfront about what you are looking for, right from the start.

    I wish that woman good luck and hope she will realize that seduction, romance and dating do not stop at the age of 30 !!!

  5. Amy and Kitty: you both make a lot of sense. There is definitely a place, and a very desirable one may I add, for women 30+

    • Marie says:

      Hello im a petite 44year fit 115 pounds
      Sassy Sexy, Spontanious ,Funny & Respectful female looking for Sugar Daddy whom is looking for companionship Dates and funtimes . Willing to travel in Ontario for week at a time paid travel and expenses.

  6. KittyKat says:

    Why do all of us “European” girls go by a kitty name of some sort? funny…

  7. Grace Simone says:

    I can very much relate to KittyKats comment on a woman if age. We are more grounded and secure in our mind on certain levels. I am a mature gracefully aged woman of color. I am a woman who have experience the ups and downs of life and have taken them in as a lesson well learned. I carry my age, attitude and appearance exceptionally well. I’m upfront and loyal about what I do and don’t want, the older the berry the sweeter the juice. The older sugar babies are more relaxed, good listeners and can be a very good woman for the right man. We don’t bite we just nibble. This is how we feel because we are emotionally stable and down to earth. I’m not saying SB are not emotionally, we’re just more experienced and tell it like it is, it’s not about the age difference, it’s all about experience.

  8. Heather says:

    Well I’m 44 and there’s nothing 44 about me! My body is fitter and tighter than 90% of 18-30 yr olds, Looking young is genetic for me, no my face isn’t disgusting with lines and sagging jowls & my breasts are more perky than 95% of any woman over 22. I guess I’m just lucky, then again, I’ve worked out and taken care of myself my whole life also…NO KIDS that will age you FAST in every way right down to the one thing that must be tight LOL. I’m mature where it matters, I’m skilled and I’m most interested in, want, can’t get enough of and enjoy sex more than ANY OTHER time in my life! Now I know what it means to be at your “sexual peak”. So some of us …gasp hot 40 year olds exist. I’ve seen what’s out there and these young girls aren’t all that, they eat too much fast food, have muffin tops or are “skinny fat” and are lousy in bed but hey, you guys can feel like someone special when found dating a woman your childs age. Creepy.

  9. Mmm, Heather where have you been all time time? I used to date 40 year olds when I was younger. One of the best bodies I have ever seen was one 42 year old woman…in Texas….

    • Heather says:

      Just because your 30, 40 or even 50 doesn’t mean you HAVE TO let your body go to crap. Just seems like people “accept” that they have a sagging ass and Budda belly but the reality is none of us have to at any age.

  10. Ali A says:

    FYI heather, Dont speak on things you have no knowledge about! I’m almost 41 and had two children naturally who are now 15 and 23 and after having them I can’t even wear the ultra thin tampons anymore! (Warning,,,,graphic). I’ve tested my tightness by literally inserting the tip of a straw in my vaginal opening in a way it would have to fallout unless you’re snug as a bug, like me. It wont fall out even if I jump up and down and do drastic movements. Stop watching too much TV implying childbirth gives you a loose puss bc of childbirth. It’s actually the opposite. Loose women who fuck excessively…dont respect their vagina and let it be abused to no end. Secondly, keeping physically fit as a female wihout ever having had children is not impressive in the least so get off your soapbox. Keeping in shape is the least you could do for yourself seeing how you’re single w no children at 40 +.

    • Sounds good. I DO want to see the picture of the straw in a vagina though

    • Vee says:

      Well said!! I just turned big 50 and I’m sexier and better looking then I was in my 20’s. I am single and no kids in daycare or on time limits! My body isn’t of a 20 year old but it’s sexy with curves. I have men of all ages hitting on me or wanting to date. I may not be tight, perky or toned but I’m curved , slender and experienced.

  11. Michelle says:

    I’m 40, exiting a 20 year marriage. I don’t think I look 40. Never had kids. Haven’t had affection, intimacy or sex I over 3 years. My 40 year old husband, after 20 years, has been having an affair with a 20 year old and got her pregnant on purpose. I would love to have a man appreciate me for the fun loving “girl” I’ve always been. I worked very hard for many years to build our life. Now, he walked away, abandoned me, I’m now losing everything we we worked for. Just purchased our 1st home 5 years ago, it will be for closed on. He refuses to provide any financial support. To be honest, I don’t want to take advantage, I want to provide companionship and feel wanted. That’s all. A little financial assistance would be nice. I’m an amazing caregiver … I recently walked my dad to heaven and am not scared of illnesses or even death at this point. There’s so much about my life you’d enjoy hearing about. Starting with the fact I was a bikini dancer when in my teens and 20’s. So many fascinating stories and experiences I’d love to share. Bit it also not all about me, I’m very caring and nurturing, it’s been a while since I’ve had any intimicy so there are no issues with me getting right back into it. My ex husband refused to provide the affection I so desperately need in my life.

    Any suggestion or ideas on how to find someone that loves to take care of a woman that will keep you laughing and want to keep you company. I’m into Rock Music and can dress the part, I also clean up very well for more of the higher end events. (I can still give a sexy table dance if the mood strikes us)

  12. Esther says:

    Experience says it all. And yes, I’m 42. But I have learned a lot since I was I was 20. I’m more freaky now than I was then. And way more fun and can’t have children. No I have not abused my vagina, just learned how to use my body for pleasure.

  13. summer says:

    My Name is Summer. A sugar daddy relationship at this point in my life would be the only type of relationship I’d want to be in. I’m over 40. No kids. No relationship in over 10 YEARS. I DONT LOOK MY AGE. I used to be a dancer, I’m pretty sure I could still dance and make money if I wanted to. Its just that the clubs hire tinnie boppers and d rather not work with them all night long, especially when alcohol is involved. Someone needs to tell me, how do get involved with a sugar daddy. I had one 6 years ago for over 4 years. It was the absolute best time of my life. I lost him though, I know he lost his money. He couldn’t provide any longer. I grew to really care about him and told him money wasn’t an issue, that I’d still like to be in his life, but he soon was gone. So, any tips on how to get a sugar daddy back in my life. I long for the thrill and security of that type of relationship

    • Well, there limited choices to finding a SD. If not on one of the sugar sites, then going to hotel bars and hanging out there trying to meet business guys who might be open to this, is your best bet. And it also depends where you live. Obviously easier in the bigger towns like NY

  14. Me :-) says:

    I’m 53 years old but look 40ish and just started SB lifestyle this year. Had first dinner date with POT of age 39 *wink* last week and he’s ready for second date. It’s about how you take care of yourself and your personality. Be beautiful and sweet. There’s someone out there for everyone.

    • Agreeable says:

      Well, gee, Thanks for that unique posting ~ Me :-) …..
      Yes absolutely, I agree, ‘be beautiful & be Sweet’! … That’s what many men want & need, regardless of the woman’s age, (& I can say that, in my opinion, I suspect at my age now, I’m sweeter than I was when in my; 20’s, 30’s or 40’s). Currently, I’m older than ‘double nickles’ … & not a skinny mini by any means, … nevertheless, & no doubt surprisingly to myself & maybe others, … men, (incl. or especially younger men), approach me in public, telling me things like, “I just had to tell you, that you’re a beautiful sexy woman”, … while other men wink at me, or poke me in stores & playfully run off, turning back to send silly flirtatious smiles my way, …. and when it comes to online connections/dating, etc., … it’s nothing less than surprising, to find that many younger men definitely do find older women sexually enticing, (which is still a mystery to me, LOL, tho times are changing). … To think that young handsome men do & will contact older women, desiring them as dates, &/or as SB’s, (breaking social etiquette rules in nearly every way, etc., … well, YES, it IS most definitely done!!!, … believe it or not). … Perhaps even more amazing, is that I find younger men seem to actually enjoy conversations with me, (older men do as well), … even with no sexual encounter/s at all, … as they seem to appreciate the blend of; sincerity, wisdom, openness, trust, & timeless sensuality, which they enjoy. True, many women may find they have less opportunities once over age 50, (comparably to when they were younger), although opportunities are still out there, & possibly more than most would ever guess. So, I say, Yes, Yes, YES, be Beautiful, be Sweet, as possible, … keeping in mind that true beauty radiates from the inside outward. Men ‘feel’ that radiance, & they’re often very perceptual in that way. Beauty can be intensely greater than only skin deep!

  15. Aria says:

    To put it bluntly, SD’s look at SB’s like cars. Generally speaking, they want the newest, shiniest models available to enjoy and replace as they see fit. If you’re over 40, even if you’d been a nun, living in a cave somewhere, you’d be considered to have more mileage than a 19 year old frat mattress. They’re the customer and if you’ve ever worked in sales…
    Anyone over 40 is basically playing by diff set of rules. Mainly because these websites display your age in your profile. So if potential SD have their filters set to under 40, that’ll eliminate you. If you look young for your age, you’re in luck and can lie about it.. If not, then it gets tougher.
    I’m 41, but I’ve been 37 online for a while; I’m always told I look younger. At only 5’3″, I work out, A LOT, but I’m still a size 10. I don’t see myself as being hot or even sexy… can’t wear stilettos if my life depended on it. However, I’m always told I’m cute as a button (I’m 40 FFS!!), beautiful, exotic (tanned olive skin with light green eyes), that I have an angelic face, and lovely smile, etc, etc, etc, oh, yeah and (the money maker) HUGE round butt 😉
    The point is, we need to adjust to reality. I don’t aim for Donald Sterlings, so they can take care of me. Retired and very thoughtful engineers or professors will do. There’ll come a time when I am going to be the one contacting SDs, or post suggestive pictures to entice them, or worse… DIET, no need right now though. But if I were planning to do this for years to come, I’d definitely have to adjust.

  16. Tammy says:

    Hello! Love the topic !
    Haven’t we all heard that saying”age is just a number ?!”
    I’m a 53 yr old SB newly hatched to the sugar life style!
    Whoop hoo! Go me!
    My last bf who wasn’t a SD was 31and it was he who persuade me.. Youngest to ask me out was 21..I pasted on that one.
    I have the looks and energy and attitude of a much more youthful age for sure.
    But I have never had any bad habits or attitude so the container I came in has Mao rained it’s shelf life pretty great lol
    I have been on the miss travel site and went on 3 trips all with men 10+ yrs my junior awesome experiences!
    Now on the SA site and getting a lot of attention from all age groups a few 25+ more in the 35 to 45 age group.. And to be fair I fudged my age by 4 yrs. So what lol they don’t care when I ‘fes up.
    So never limit yourself
    Next week I have 2 first dates lined up with great POTS and a commitment already to a 7 day trip to Mexico with a real sweetheart ..
    And another is coming to visit end of next month.
    If you can dream it you can live it

  17. MinoTaur says:

    does anyone know of a website where older women who want babies, offsprings ??
    Would like to hear from you all.

  18. Cocoa says:

    I am 46, of ethnic background, well educated with 2 adult children. It has not been easy being the breadwinner of the family. Looking for a SD is not easy.

  19. Ingrid Ann Illum says:

    yea i’m new to this so… just hi!

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