Is ‘hanging out’ the new ‘date’?

Someone forwarded me an article form the New York Times called ‘The end of courtship?’ where the people being interview basically said that the word ‘date’ should not exist in our language and that people don’t really go out on dates anymore but instead they hangout in groups of friends?  They were referring to people in their 20’s and maybe early 30’s.   I sure hope they are wrong.  I always thought that hanging out with groups of friends, men and women, and bringing a gf (or potential) along is sort of conflicting priorities.  After all, if you are with a gf or even a SB you are supposed to get to know each other form some time of friendship or connection, right?  So then how are supposed to do this if you are with 3 other people who are your buddies and are supposed to have stuff in common and want to talk to them as well? You see the conflicting priorities….

It was funny: Once, this lady from Philadelphia said ‘Oh I want to come see you David and I can meet you at the specified location.  However I will travel with some friends and family and I would like you to meet them too.  They can see who you are etc, lol’  That’s exactly what she said and I still remember after such a long time, because it was the most retarded thing I ever heard in my sugar years.  Needless to say that I laughed at the idea and never met anyway.  Especially in sugar dating which is supposed to be a discreet thing anyway, why drag buddies along, what good purpose can this possibly serve, unless someone is feeling insecure and they want to hide behind a group of friends and just observe their date from that safe distance.

The same article also talked about technology, and how it has changed dating habits.  One person said that because now is so easy to talk on Facebook, or IM or text, a lot of the stuff we would find out on a first date we can just find it online, quicker. I like technology actually because it cuts through the bull.  But talking online, I must say, while faster, makes you lose some of the intonations, mannerisms and body language. In fact I find that personal discovery one of the most fascinating things about dating: observing how one moves and how they talk and look at you while they talk.  It seems that too many people just meet online and then they decide to have sex when they meet and that’s that.  It seems like its taking the real quick way out of it and perhaps that’s why so many young women (say 20 to 23) have no skills in bed even though they say they have been with like 12 people: A lot just seem to be going through the motions.

Anyway,  that’s all I wanted to say on the topic, and hopefully dating in the old fashioned sense is not dead.

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