Is sugar always NSA?

Mutually beneficial relationships are supposed to be transient, ‘fun and games’ type of situations. That’s why they are called arrangements.  So one can say that they are like mini vacations: You meet someone twice a month, you like their company, have a special friendship, talk about things, it lasts a few months, then the vacation is over.  So, yes, there is chemistry but everyone knows that these liaisons are generally not very long lasting, on the average.  The man could be married already and has no plans to leave is wife.  Or maybe he could be divorced but doesn’t plan to have another serious relationship for quite a while and he just wants to meet a couple of women each year and have a little bit of fun and that’s all.  So yes, by definition, sugar dating is a classic definition NSA, and the money or gifts keeps things impersonal.  One can not get too attached to a ‘rented’ girlfriend right?

And the women probably think the same thing: ‘The only way we will do anything with an older man is for money’.  However, on occasion things don’t go as originally planned.

I have received enough emails from ladies ranging from 22 to into their 30’s saying that they actually liked spending time with their SD and the allowance was just a sideshow. Some even said that they started seeing them even when they decided to stop the allowance. In those cases the arrangement turned into a real relationship and the money was just an excuse for two individuals to meet. Without the money, if we think about it, these two people would never had met in the first place, nor had a relationship, let alone  a loving one.

In my case there was an instance where it started as sugar but quickly turned into something a lot deeper, much to my surprise, mainly because it wasn’t planned.  In that case there was something intangible that caused an almost immediate attraction even though the age difference was fairly large.  And it turned into a fully fledged relationship, even though friends and my own brother thought I was crazy to turn something that was supposed to be casual into a serious relationship with someone of the age of 20.  But I did because I saw something in her that was sweet an reminded me of the days when I was 20, so I decided that my feelings for her were too strong to ignore.  At the same time I knew this was important to her as well, for reasons only known to her.  I asked her and she explained the reasons to me once.  She said I was the first person outside her family to really care about her, and show her how stuff works and how to go about certain things.  Even after we had fights she also fought to keep everything together, which I found very flattering.  Contrast that with some older attempts at a relationship, i.e. with Jersey girl who would find excuses why things should NOT work, and why she could NOT visit me.  In this case though this 20 year old girl fought for it and at the same time showed what she is really made of, i.e. something real. So I couldn’t ignore that. Our relationship lasted a long time, until…



This entry was posted in Dating, mutually beneficial relationships, No strings attached relationships, NSA, sugar baby allowance, Sugar Daddy and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Is sugar always NSA?

  1. Again, I relate to this. My current arrangement is more than an arrangement, although the money is still very important. By this time next year she’ll be richer than I am and the money won’t matter, but if we’re still together then I’ll be surprised.

  2. Dr.Isioma "issy" Ebegbodi says:

    I do see these relationship evolving to something deeper with meaning but does it last to forever? i am not sure; i have never been in one but i am married to an older man who met me as a practicing physician. To begin with the men are usually married and it may not be economically viable for them to end their unions, the financial loss may be astronomical and i wonder if SB will remain with them when spending expense starts to shrink, it is easier said than done that they remain even when sugar stopped, knowing fully well, sugar never really stopped, it is only redefined. Then there is the age factor, a 20yr old girl is coming into her own, i remember myself at 20 and yes, at that age an older established male looks admirable but wait till she turns 30 to 35; you are no longer appealing, she is now more worldly, settled into a career, like SD LA said she will be richer and she wants a man her age for a myriad of reasons, physically he is more attractive than you at 60yr, more energy, their minds click, you look like you are stuck in the dark ages and your personalities start to clash, she is more out going, you are slowing down, more so that your parenting days are long over. So i am yet to see these unions even the ones that start as traditional relationships of older man/younger woman get to the 10 yr mark; ask Murdoch who is getting divorced again.

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