Mutually beneficial relationships are supposed to be transient, ‘fun and games’ type of situations. That’s why they are called arrangements. So one can say that they are like mini vacations: You meet someone twice a month, you like their company, have a special friendship, talk about things, it lasts a few months, then the vacation is over. So, yes, there is chemistry but everyone knows that these liaisons are generally not very long lasting, on the average. The man could be married already and has no plans to leave is wife. Or maybe he could be divorced but doesn’t plan to have another serious relationship for quite a while and he just wants to meet a couple of women each year and have a little bit of fun and that’s all. So yes, by definition, sugar dating is a classic definition NSA, and the money or gifts keeps things impersonal. One can not get too attached to a ‘rented’ girlfriend right?
And the women probably think the same thing: ‘The only way we will do anything with an older man is for money’. However, on occasion things don’t go as originally planned.
I have received enough emails from ladies ranging from 22 to into their 30’s saying that they actually liked spending time with their SD and the allowance was just a sideshow. Some even said that they started seeing them even when they decided to stop the allowance. In those cases the arrangement turned into a real relationship and the money was just an excuse for two individuals to meet. Without the money, if we think about it, these two people would never had met in the first place, nor had a relationship, let alone a loving one.
In my case there was an instance where it started as sugar but quickly turned into something a lot deeper, much to my surprise, mainly because it wasn’t planned. In that case there was something intangible that caused an almost immediate attraction even though the age difference was fairly large. And it turned into a fully fledged relationship, even though friends and my own brother thought I was crazy to turn something that was supposed to be casual into a serious relationship with someone of the age of 20. But I did because I saw something in her that was sweet an reminded me of the days when I was 20, so I decided that my feelings for her were too strong to ignore. At the same time I knew this was important to her as well, for reasons only known to her. I asked her and she explained the reasons to me once. She said I was the first person outside her family to really care about her, and show her how stuff works and how to go about certain things. Even after we had fights she also fought to keep everything together, which I found very flattering. Contrast that with some older attempts at a relationship, i.e. with Jersey girl who would find excuses why things should NOT work, and why she could NOT visit me. In this case though this 20 year old girl fought for it and at the same time showed what she is really made of, i.e. something real. So I couldn’t ignore that. Our relationship lasted a long time, until…