Remember those old jokes like ‘A guy walks into a bar…’?
Well: ‘An older man walked into a bar once with 20 year old girl ordered a beer and then took a seat at the lounge. The bartender and the hostess exchanged knowing looks and a smile like “we know what this is all about ok?” The man felt embarrassed’. That’s what happened to me once. I felt sort of self conscious on that occasion, even though I am sure it has happened before several times without me noticing. I felt more self conscious because I saw the knowing looks, and the place was not too crowded on a Sunday afternoon so it was obvious. I was glad for her company though, as I always was. And then on another occasion something quite offensive happened: Me and her were arguing about what we wanted out of this. We were going on and on about the various misdeeds we had done to each other and how we were hurt etc. Behind us was a table with a few folks sitting there and I guess they were close enough and overheard us. One the guys said ‘Oh they are arguing, she is a who*e’ . I didn’t hear it first hand but she told me about it later. I found that so obnoxious for someone to say that. Granted, there was a large age difference between us. But what part of the conversation made him think she was a who*re? I am curious. I guess though it goes to show the misconcepions and stereotypes that people have when they see a relationship between two individuals of a different age group. Go figuh! In fact we had quite a loving relationship, so not something that you would classify as purely sugar or whorish. So they were off their mark, totally. I was talking to her and saying ‘look, what do you want?’ To which she responded in a way that made mee think real hard ‘I don’t want anything from you, I just want to be with you. Are you really so fucked up that you think everyone just wants to be with you because they want something?’. That made me feel pretty small actually, and made me reconsider a lot of things. I guess in a way after having spent a few years in sugar I was starting to assume automatically that someone is with me because they wanted something. I then asked her: ‘Well, do you miss flirting or just having sex with random business men?’. To which she repsonded ‘No I really don’t. If I could just get the $ without having sex with them that would be ideal, lol’. ‘So you don’t miss it, and that’s why you want this relationship so bad, and so fighting to keep it’. She shook her head positively.