A friend told me that once, and I said ‘no they are not toxic, they are just connections between individuals’. I still believe it, although now that this particular stage of my life is just about done and I think back, I decided that sometimes of these relationships can be toxic indeed. The longer you are involved in this, the more crazy or trashy people you have the chance to meet.
In other cases you meet people who you think are your friends but in the end you get totally disappointed once they prove who they really are. Even hanging out with a group of SB’s at the same time you see the dynamics between them: the cat fights (women!!), undermining each other so they can get the biggest whale of SD, pretending they are friends one minute and as soon as the other one turns her back, out come the knives. And of course let’s not forget the blatant lies. For example, there was one who said ‘Oh, I like to keep many SD’s at the same time’. And the SBs friends of her would be so amazed as to how she was able to fit all these men in her schedule. What she really meant, as it turned out, is that she was working for an escort agency, and of course the lady at the front desk would set up appointments for her and call her up saying ‘Hey you have to meet the next client in 2 hours’. I was present during one of those calls and when I put two and two together my jaw dropped. She certainly pulled the wool over my eyes!
And then there are some SB who approach this whole lifestyle as if it is some type of career. They quit their jobs and their boyfriends who care about them, and go all out to meet the prospective SDs. Of course we would love to meet and party with you, he he !
I am not trying to minimize the several great relationships I have had with some of the SBs, so I am generalizing here, but I think you get my point.
In other cases, I wonder if any of these women I met in person or online will ever be able to have a normal healthy relationship with a man. Many will, I hope, but a lot just won’t, unless they develop more maturity in the future. But then again, if one is not mature by the age of, say, 28, when will they grow up? Sometimes you have to wonder what this type of double life does to these women. Do they really really think that they can just go through it for years just like that, and then come out intact on the other side? Some people can hack it, most can’t at least not for more than 1 year. Yes they will get gifts, trips, allowances, college tuition paid up, and all that is great. But, unless you are a already a solid and mature person in your own right, you will come out as a different person than what you started as, and not always for the best.
A SB asked me if I would be bothered if I found out that my daughter had become an SB. For the risks I outlined above, yes it would bother me.