How I became addicted, sort of

It first started as a little game, mainly out of curiosity. I didn’t feel desperate, I never needed help with dates. Even now in my forties I think I can still get a date, what the heck. But I figured if we throw in an allowance here or there things were bound to get very interesting in many respects.  A new dynamic was created.

Financially speaking I had a brokerage account of a good size, 3 nice houses (little or no mortgage), steady employment with lots of banking experience and I was not concerned about employment prospects even in a crappy economy (knock on wood). So I figured ‘hey why not’. I spent 5K a month on just as many SB’s. I am sure individual SB’s may have thought I was being cheap, but they obviously didn’t know the whole picture, about the other SB’s. Someone made the comment to me ‘Hey David, you played the field!’. And yes, sometimes when I felt like it, I indeed played the field, what’s wrong with that? I met many people, made no false promises, didn’t hurt anyone, was always very honest, and plus the SB’s were playing the field pretty actively themselves. So that comment was like the pot calling the kettle black!

And then I became so accustomed to the lifestyle. It was so addicting to find a release in it, when my ‘home relations’ where not great, it was not even funny. I just loved the attention and the companionship, the great restaurants, the trips, and of course the sex. I figured, ‘you only live once. If I don’t do it know, I will never do it, so let’s jump in with both hands’. I always do that type of approach with everything, both personally and professionally, by the way.

One day I caught myself thinking: hey my checking account used to be bigger, lol. I am still not worried about my financial future, but wouldn’t it have been better to have spent this money in a more meaningful way? Like charity, or giving it to my son, for example? And once someone goes down the road of compulsion, whether with women, drugs, bird watching, stamp collections etc, it becomes its own issue.

I always thought of myself as a disciplined, self aware, and analytical person, so that’s why I decided to retire. Well, for the most part, lol.

While in this, I created some very good memories, had some very interesting times with many beautiful women, fell for a few on them along the way, and created some memories I will never, ever forget. There are several people I still think about quite often and tear up a bit sometimes while doing so.

But I had to get out of it. So I went cold turkey for a while, and just suddenly stopped seeing these women. I decided to do a book as a way of putting my experience into perspective because if I write about it I thought I would understand these experiences and how I reacted to them a lot better.  I also wrote the book so others can also get a glimpse of what this lifestyle is about, not only from a financial standpoint, but also from a life or emotional standpoint as well.  I think I fulfilled that purpose.  I still get very nostalgic of many of the friends I made during that time, and still smile reflectively. I wonder where they are, what they look like now days, and what are they up to (with out me, sadly!) and if they even remember me.  And then it hit me.  Through this lifestyle I was, in part, trying to re-live my dating experiences from years past when I was in my twenties! Interesting…