At first glance one may say that the sugar daddy / sugar baby lifestyle is just NSA and casual dating, inhabited by individuals who are meeting at the fringe of the dating world, or as a SB friend of mine put it ‘the subculture’. Maybe it is true to a certain extent, but as I keep saying, it feels like the money or gifts are just an excuse, and some good relationships can develop out of all this. Why, I still remember that Nubian princess who, after I gave her her allowance for that particular week, she actually returned it back saying ‘It’s ok Dave, you gave me money last week, take this back now’. I was stunned, as it was the first time anything like that happened to me, and we started dating, as in ‘real’ dating. I wonder what she is doing nowadays…years later
Anyway, this whole SD/SB gig gave me the opportunity to learn so much about myself, about relationships in general and about men and women. It also taught me about my own limits and personal character flaws
1. I like younger women! Doesn’t it sound a bit odd that a 40 something year old would develop feelings for someone who could be 20 or 25? At first it sounds strange, but it really is not. We are just people, so stuff happens. Actually, for someone who used to date women my age group or older, I found that dating younger women was one of the best experiences. I was surprised to find that I really liked seeing someone a lot younger, and not only for the reason that they looked nice. I liked their outlook and enthusiasm about things, even their naive outlook at times. It was quite endearing (thanks Kimmie for introducing that word into my vocabulary. How are you by the way? I really do miss you). I liked seeing someone maturing right in front of my eyes, and what their thought process was about their studies, relationships, career goals etc. I would offer as much advice as they were willing to hear.
2. I learned that even I get jealous sometimes. I don’t act on those thoughts, as I am a reasonable and discreet person, but I do get jealous sometimes, especially if I start developing feelings for the sugar baby. Someone told me once ‘Oh you were just distraction’. Fair enough I suppose, after all it was all NSA, right? But even for one brief moment, I don’t think anyone likes to be called ‘a disctraction’. It’s like, ‘Geez, thanks for that, love you too! NOT’
3. I spend time during the day thinking abut them. Even given my busy and intense work day, certain individuals lingered in my mind, and still do sometimes. Amanda, Antoinette, Kimmie, Yolanda, Lil’Kim (yes Lil’ Kim!), Alexandra. As in sitting on the trading floor in front of a computer screen, and they would cross my mind.
4. I wouldn’t tolerate a lot of things. For example, divas, drama queens, people who would just demand 2 of the best of everything but wouldn’t be willing to bat an eyelash for me. You just can’t demand $5K a month just for showing up. Doesn’t work in the real world nor the sugar world (well, sometimes it does but you get my point). Don’t need that, out you go. I mean, what do you offer besides good looks? There has to be something there, besides me supporting your expensive tastes
5. Annoyance at little quirks. I know this sounds terrible given my own well advertised and admitted faults (low tolerance for certain people, my occasional love of smut etc etc). I am a pensive person and also very honest with myself. I expect the same openness and honesty of others, but so many times it is not forthcoming. I find that upsetting
6. Emotionally I couldn’t bear some situations. I knew I would fall for them, so we mutually decided to end it. That was a sad day that I remember to this day, and I think I will always remember!
Please take a look at some of my nutty stories in this book