A very young member of the sugar society sent out a heart warming note on one of the social networking sites, saying good bye to everyone.
The note said, among other things, that this lifestyle has caused her not to be able to have normal relationships with men, and that she finds her so called support system from several other sugar babies quite toxic. And she also said she had to get a therapist to help her deal with issues around relationships with men.
Well, no one said it was going to be easy.
It is odd. A very sincere note, to be sure. But then again here was someone who was expecting to find something, perhaps idealized in her own mind, in the sugar world. I like the sugar world. I have met some great characters in it. I have also met some crazed animals in shapes of women too. You just don’t go into this expecting to find the love of your life. It may happen, and I am sure it has happened to others. In my case I have met people that made me wish I was 27 again, so I could keep seeing them. But, in general, and on the average, this lifestyle is what I call it: ‘an extended one night stand’. Both parties can leave, no questions asked, as hurtful as it may seem. And Lord knows I have been hurt by some departures…some of which I planned for the greater good of both of us, others I caused inadvertently through my own stupidity.
The context in which we meet is a tricky one. Are we friends? Are we lovers? are we both of those? Ideally, I would really hope so.
But do the real parts of our personality come out? i.e. are we acting ourselves or do we put on a facade specifically for the sugar meetings? I like to think I am myself at all times and what you see is what you get. I have to admit though: the way I treated some individuals (luckily only a few), was not the real me. At the slightest suspicion, I would turn into this paranoid jerk ball.
Maybe this is what this lady was talking about.
Another friend asked me ‘what am I to you?’ when she was surprised I came on to her. It was an excellent question by a future law student (and a future district attorney no doubt). I am not sure she even realized the depth of that question and its significance in the sugar lifestyle. Again: are we friends? lovers? somene who helps out every now and then?
As for the young lady who wrote this note: hey if you are still interested in financial writing like you said you were, why don’t you apply for an internship at CNBC or Bloomberg and just skip the whole banking gig? Just a thought, just trying to help…