What am I to you?

A very young member of the sugar society sent out a heart warming note on one of the social networking sites, saying good bye to everyone.
The note said, among other things, that this lifestyle has caused her not to be able to have normal relationships with men, and that she finds her so called support system from several other sugar babies quite toxic. And she also said she had to get a therapist to help her deal with issues around relationships with men.
Well, no one said it was going to be easy.
It is odd. A very sincere note, to be sure. But then again here was someone who was expecting to find something, perhaps idealized in her own mind, in the sugar world. I like the sugar world. I have met some great characters in it. I have also met some crazed animals in shapes of women too. You just don’t go into this expecting to find the love of your life. It may happen, and I am sure it has happened to others. In my case I have met people that made me wish I was 27 again, so I could keep seeing them. But, in general, and on the average, this lifestyle is what I call it: ‘an extended one night stand’. Both parties can leave, no questions asked, as hurtful as it may seem. And Lord knows I have been hurt by some departures…some of which I planned for the greater good of both of us, others I caused inadvertently through my own stupidity.

The context in which we meet is a tricky one. Are we friends? Are we lovers? are we both of those? Ideally, I would really hope so.
But do the real parts of our personality come out? i.e. are we acting ourselves or do we put on a facade specifically for the sugar meetings? I like to think I am myself at all times and what you see is what you get. I have to admit though: the way I treated some individuals (luckily only a few), was not the real me. At the slightest suspicion, I would turn into this paranoid jerk ball.
Maybe this is what this lady was talking about.

Another friend asked me ‘what am I to you?’ when she was surprised I came on to her. It was an excellent question by a future law student (and a future district attorney no doubt). I am not sure she even realized the depth of that question and its significance in the sugar lifestyle. Again: are we friends? lovers? somene who helps out every now and then?

As for the young lady who wrote this note: hey if you are still interested in financial writing like you said you were, why don’t you apply for an internship at CNBC or Bloomberg and just skip the whole banking gig? Just a thought, just trying to help…

This entry was posted in Dating, mutually beneficial relationships, No strings attached relationships, NSA, Sugar Daddy and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to What am I to you?

  1. Jade says:

    I might be everything a man needs and a woman wants for few hours a week. Give or take. I can pretend to myself I am more but I know that after all I can only be my best self, always.
    Who is him? The man who choses to see my best self a few hours a week, give or take.

  2. Jade, this has to be the best answer I have heard in years. Really!

  3. oksana says:

    didn’t you meet the woman you are talking about.. oh I wait know the answer you did.

  4. @oks: I think I did. And you know what? at first I was really attracted to her, she seemed a bit charismatic for such a young person etc. And then it hit me: she also had some unattractive features as well: she was arrogant without really knowing much, and too quick to judge, with no experience base of her own. Goes to show who you meet sometimes…
    The funny thing is I am still interested in her.

  5. Hanna says:

    What happened to jade??

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