Breaking up is hard even in a NSA setting like ours, especially if the arrangement has lasted a while. I have to admit that I wish a few arrangements I had in the past never broke up the way they did, or would have lasted a lot longer. But then how does one break up with sugar? Let me ask you this: how does one break up in ‘real life relationships’. Politely but quickly in order not to prolong the agony.
It’s best to do so in person, but many times with our busy lifestyles and everyone being connected online it is just more expedient to be done through text or email. Not the best way of course but the most expedient way. Last time I was dumped it was via text. Fair enough I suppose. We wished each other good luck and that was that, nice and clean.
On the flip side there have been SB’s (and maybe SD’s) that just can’t believe something is over and refuse to let it go. And what do they do? They keep harassing or bad mouthing their sugars to everyone they know in real life or online. You would think that a simple email saying ‘Hey I am sorry this arrangement is not working for me anymore’ would suffice. But not always.
Maybe they couldn’t believe that someone else came along that was better, nicer, more attractive, better chemistry in and out of bed etc etc. Some people take rejection very hard. Or maybe they can’t believe that us SD’s have multiple responsibilities at our age and sometimes sugar is precisely at the bottom of our priorities. NSA, remember?
There is an old Indian saying: ‘Don’t judge someone unless you walk 5 miles in their moccassins’. Very true indeed. People decide to move on for many reasons that probably make a lot of sense to the. Dragging someone in the mud because of that, will not get you any favors with future SD’s or SB’s. After all who would want to be in an arrangement with someone as bitter and back stabing like that? And those who witness you treating others like that will be fair weather friends. They will turn on you just as easily you turned on your SD or SB.
What goes around comes around. So, relax, have some vegetables, live and let live, be low key, chalk up any breakups to the college of sugar, and have a great life. What else can you wish for? Living well is the best revenge, right?
There is a chapter on ‘breaking up sweetly’ in the book as well.
Hey – not sure at all if I’m typical…but…
The only thing that irritates me (when a sugar-relationship or any relationship ends) is the lack of a clear explanation.
I over-analyze…great tool professionally, not so great in the personal life, but, oh well…so if I just get a “hey, I think we should just be friends” out of the blue, I get upset. But if I get a “I’m taking a break from cheating on my spouse/I’m still not over my ex-girlfriend/I found someone who has a better body than you and asks for half the sugar you do/I found someone who pats my ego more…you’re too critical/I’m bored/got promoted and am not traveling as much to your city/stock portfolio took a dive and I don’t feel comfortable spending this much any more…” I’m 100% fine.
Hey Meg,
The one with lets be friends its on the category: the man wants to be still (and only for the purposes of his ego) that white knight no matter what. So he proves himself on saying that.
Most men(at least in my experience) just walk away, no explanation, no nothing. So the logic behind that is that they know we women would ask for the aforementioned clarification, but they dont deal well with feelings, potential crying, attempts to fix what they think its done. So we go again to their ego, they think that somehow well figure it out without them being the cause of any sadness.
all women analyse more then men. But thats normal. Manners are aquired, balls also, so when they dont have them I try to just ignore the situation.They know what they did, the relationship is broken, but sometimes they come back. And this is when Ihave an upper hand again to reject him or not
Rejection works again on his ego.
Sorry David but its a 2 dimentional game with men in 99% of cases:ego and sex and any combination of those 2, lol. If theres brain, manner and class
Cont.
Then it worth oveanalysing. Otherwise, we should either let it go or plan to create a movement for teaching men to dejohn themselves.u
typing on a phone has it’s issues, appologies.
Hi Meg, love your blog btw. What you are saying is very reasonable. I good explanation like ‘I dont want to cheat anymore on my gf/bf/wife’ should be good enough. However some people just vanish. Oh well. Can’t teach manners I guess