Professional no shows: Pre meeting etiquette

I had an hour to kill this afternoon, between two giant meals in Little Italy with some family and extended family members, cousins etc. i.e a bunch of old guys (relatives) toasting each other with grappa.  I got contacted by this young lady who had also emailed me a while back.  We were supposed to meet for a coffee and quality conversation some time ago, but she never confirmed the meeting so I didn’t go. Two days later she apologized for an emergency that came up. Earlier today she contacted me again and wanted to meet. I said ‘Well, ok, I can’t meet for dinner since I have plans but we could meet up for a drink’.  Fair enough.  Made plans to meet at a nice establishment near Union Square.  Interestingly, she never texted as the time to meet  drew near. I find that people who are genuinely interested in meeting do keep the communication channels open and confirm the meeting i.e. ‘Hey I am on my way’, or ‘See you soon’ etc.  In this case, nothing. I texted that I will see her in 30 min in front of the place,  and she responded she is running 10 minutes late.  You have no idea what a turn off this is. But I was game. I suspected a no show actually and parked myself at a coffee shop across the place we were supposed to meet, reading my Barron’s newspaper and just people watching and keeping an eye as to who is coming and going.  I usually wait 15 minutes and then leave, so I texted her I will be departing, after 15 minutes were over. A little bit after that she texted me that she arrived at the place.  I know what she looks like because she emailed me pics in the past, and I can attest to the fact that I did not see anyone remotely looking like her, waiting for me outside the place we were supposed to meet.  Remember, I was actually still waiting at the coffee shop across the street, for a few extra minutes before I left.

So here is an individual who makes it a habit of setting up dates with who knows how many men, and of course she is a professional no show.  Which I sort of suspected, but I wanted to prove it to myself.  My instincts usually are spot on and sometimes I surprise even myself, lol.

Here is some basic etiquette for meeting up. Nothing earth shattering but just some common rules and courtesies that some people seem to have forgotten:

1.  On the day of the meeting text the SD and let him know you are looking forward to meeting him.

2. An hour or so before, confirm the time and place of the meeting, and if no pics have been exchanged, let them know what you look like and what you will be wearing so he recognizes you. Please be detailed. You don’t know how many strangers I almost walked up to and hugged or said hello, because the prospective SB never gave me a detailed enough description.  Just saying, ‘Black, long hair, 5’6” is not enough.’

3. If, by nature, you are one of those people who are just incapable to meet at the appointed time precisely, then let them know in advance. Just say, ‘would you mind if we move the meeting by 15 minutes to give me more time to get there’. That is a perfectly fine request and the SD will of course say yes to that. 

4. Don’t make plans and then not show up.  The cosmic Karma thingy will get you, ‘further on down the road’ like that great song by Bobby Blue Bland says.

You also lose so much credibility, that even if we do decide to meet in the future, I will be so tempted to treat you like a second class citizen, it’s not even funny.

Going to have another grappa while laying in bed, and then finish reading Barron’s. 

Similar tips on the sugar lifestyle, and even more juicy in their detail are available in my book
‘Sugar Daddy Diary’

This entry was posted in Dating, mutually beneficial relationships, No strings attached relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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