Sugar babies: learn how to ask for sugar

One thing that many sugar babies need to learn, if there are to pursue a ‘career’ in this lifestyle and also maximize their returns is to know how to ask for sugar.  I am only half joking about the ‘career’ thing.  Many women do this for some solid financial reasons i.e. to get out of debt,  pay for school etc. These are great reasons and of course, financially more legitimate than shoes or bags.  I do agree that shoes look very nice on, but don’t get me started on this, ok?

There are a few personality traits that may hold back the SB from asking for what she feels she deserves.

1.  Shyness:  Perhaps she is naturally shy and just doesn’t feel comfortable asking a total stranger for money or an allowance.  I fully understand this, but also bear in mind that the two of you are in this lifestyle for a reason. The sugar daddy expects you, at some point, to ask for something.  So go ahead and do it.

2.  Gold Digging:  Many that I have met have a strong sense of pride by the way they were brought up at home, and at first think ‘I don’t want a man to pay my rent or my bills’.  And the answer to this is ‘Well, then you are barking up the wrong tree’.  In my opinion it is only considered gold digging if the guy doesn’t realize it is. But, again, we are all in this lifestyle for a reason therefore it is not a bad thing to ask us.  The worse that will happen is that we will say no.  But if you don’t ask you will certainly not get. Not in the sugar life, nor in real life. Think about it: you even have to ask Santa Claus for a gift.  So much more then, in sugar life.

3.  Lack of practise: Maybe the lady is not used to asking.  So of course she doesn’t know how, especially in what may seem and awkward first or second date with her sugar daddy.   Practise at home with the words, until they become second nature. Think of this as if you are acting for a part in a movie about mutually beneficial relationships.

Here is some basic advise:

1. Ask for the gifts or the allowance in person, or at the most via email. Not through text, as text is too short for something as nuanced as talking about the aspects of a mutually beneficial relationship.  Even email is not good for this.  It is better to do in person, this way you can see each other’s reactions and gage better how to proceed.  You can also tell if someone is lying or is uncomfortable.  If they are too uncomfortable, the perhaps you should move on. 

2. Bring it up after chemistry is established, but early enough in the relationship.  First you need to have chemistry with the person you will be spending 3 dates a month. If it is there, then don’t wait too long to bring it up. A second or third date at most is appropriate. I would even say the second date should be the max. If he is experienced he will bring it up himself. He may even lead with a question about whether you have had similar relations in the past and how did that work for you. Or, you may ask him exactly the same thing. This way, it is not an awkward question, and can flow naturally into the allowance discussion.

3. Don’t be taken advantage of. If nothing has happened by the third date move on. This also goes for sugar daddies. If it seems that the sugar baby is stringing you along, she probably is and it is a red flag for a scammer. Get out of there, fast!

A while back, I met the world’s worse sugar baby.  She said that it wouldn’t feel right to ask. But I liked her a lot and wanted to help her. So I stuffed a bunch of cash in her hand with the lame excuse of ‘Can you please hold this, I don’t feel comfortable walking around with all this cash in New York City’.

And remember, this is not a real relationship, but an experience in the ‘grey’ area of relationships.  It is enough of a relationship, but not too much as it is NSA. It is a bit of a transaction but not too much either, otherwise the whole thing becomes totally meaningless.

In the words of one of my all time favorite sugar babies, Malone, ‘Davey, you are a nice guy and I like you. But the allowance reminds me it is not personal’.  Out of the mouths of babes.  She is a lawyer. The world’s 2nd oldest profession…

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83 Responses to Sugar babies: learn how to ask for sugar

  1. Schatzi says:

    Hey there! I enjoy reading your blogs because I like a man’s point of view. So, I would like to know you opinion on this: I was just on my second date with a pot SD and the allowance talk came up. We came to the conclusion on $750 per month I’m not sure if this is a good amount..I’m new to this, but this amount doesn’t sit right with me. {PS – He’s made it clear that he is no millionaire}

  2. Really loved this blog entry! I’ve been Sugar Babying for a little over four years and it’s STILL awkward to bring up the allowance, gifts, travel, etc. topic. Great advice for how to ease into it without sounding like a gold digger, haha.

  3. Marie says:

    Hi I find this all very interesting, I’m a new sugar baby and have meet my first potential SD, first we started with a coffee, then we spent the day together, we haven’t spoken about an allowance yet. But I’m still wondering how the best way to bring it up is. I’m a little shy so any tips of suttle ness would really help. I don’t want him to think I just want money as I’m wanting to enjoy the fun of being a SB too. I was kinda hoping he would bring it up first. But he didn’t. So now I’m thinking that I need to bring it up. Any tips on a suttle approach would be appreciated.

  4. @Marie: hi and thanks for reading the blog, feel free to ask any questions. Well, like I mentioned in this post, you should bring it up at the second meeting. Presumably he knows this is about sugar already, so you can ask him gently how many times he has been involed in this type of relationship and what type of ‘pampering’ did he give his previous ladies. Let me know how it goes

    • Lee says:

      Hello Sugar Daddy David, hope your day is starting well. I’m interested in becoming a SB and I’m wondering if you could give any advice on where to start? The best places to look for a SD relationship for beginners. I’m attractive, very fun and affectionate personality with a small touch of shyness. Please help point me in the right direction. I want to be discreet.

      • Hi Lee, really the best way to start nowadays are the various (and well known) sugar sites. You will meet a lot of people, so you could say that will be a good ‘school’ for a beginner. Just be cautious, as many of the men are flakes (and women too)

        • Kayla says:

          Hii Dave!!

          How are you? Your blog was very insightful and informing … However, I still been having a few…. Unfortunate bumps/fails… I am well aware that intimacy is a key factor… But when Talking to a POT, I can’t help but feel like they’re asking for an escort… Why is this? And am I failing to see something?

          Also… How do you really know a SD is a real one and not a fake ? I live in Los Angeles and I’ve went on quite a few dates… but most POT either A wants the most for least or B offers such and then flakes out.

          Also… I’ve had a very good POT.. But he did something that made me really uncomfortable. We agreed to $800 weekly allowance and he put it into my account… But then I noticed he did it using a CC and then we met had lunch & returned to a more private area… It was still in the processing stage … So I lied saying I was on my period and so we just parted ways after…. Was there a better way I could’ve handled the situation ? i just honestly felt like he can take it back when ever he pleases… And if I were to have done something… I wouldn’t be able to take that back

  5. Trsih says:

    Hello Dear !
    I just had my 2nd date with potential S daddy. We meet in a bar. He is honest saying that she’s happy married with kids, living 200 miles away but he starting his new business in my city. He would like to meet up time to time for *challenge, battery charge * and I have to say we adore each other. We can chat for ages and have great fun- he take me out to the top class restaurants or hotels, we drinking most expensive spirits. Once he gave me €200.0 for a taxi that actually cost me only €18.00. Last time I told him that I v treated myself and the change from the taxi I spend for the sexy lingerie. He loved the idea and he booked the hotel straight away. Again we had a great time but this time I didn’t get any bonus. I feel bad even to ask for your advice but please how should I start the *sugar* topic …. how to put this in words. Feel soo bad but he know my situation with the mortgage. Can you suggest, I m so glad I found your blog . xx

  6. Trish says:

    Ohh and I forgot to add he never been in this type of relationship

  7. Nicole says:

    So I just met my potential SD and quite frankly I am scared as hell! Maybe it’s the anxiety as this is my first time being in this type of situation and we met off of Craigslist ! Initially he explained to me the perks of being his SB but an allowance was never discussed. Well, I’m a college student and I’m supposed to move in a campus apartment in a few weeks but now he is suggesting I let him get me an apartment because it would be more convenient for both of us. He has a family reunion coming up in a few weeks and he really wants me to go with him but for something that was supposed to be NSA , I’m not sure why he would want that? it seems as though he’s becoming attached to me in more ways then a SD/SB relationship I’m not sure of what to do!

  8. @Trish: it sounds like he needs ‘training’ and gentle reminders of what you’all are there for

  9. MzSonnet says:

    So I have a potential SD he has already brought allowance up by him through an email. HE asked me flat out what type of allowance I wanted. I am a first time sugar baby and I suggested we should go to dinner first. What is an ideal number to ask for? This is my first relationship with a SD. I am far from stupid but knowledge is power so what are some warning signs? I was reading another article saying that an allowance should be established and have some time and consistency with finances before I give up anything. Because if he just wants sex he will get a lady who is just for that and it starts with a p lol. So is this a deal breaker? Because he asking me what he will get in return and I wanted to say nothing. Help me out please. Thank you.

    • Hmm he ideal number to ask for: depends where you live, and what types of expenses you have. $1000 in Texas is different than $1000 in Manhattan, so it’s all relative.

      Obviously before you enter any type of arrangement you need to make yourself comfortable with the idea of spending time with this guy consistently. Also, some of that time will be behind closed doors. Are you comfortable enough doing that? Are you even attracted to him to do that?
      Sex is a part of every dating relationship, including sugar relationships. Now, when he asked what he will receive in return, and you said ‘nothing': why should he even meet you? Think of it from a guy’s perspective..What is stopping you from just leaving forever, once he gives you the allowance?
      I am not saying you should have sex with him. If you are not comfortable with the idea, don’t have sex. But on the other hand he doesn’t have to stay with you either. Perhaps he can find another girl (not a pr…) who is comfortable having sex with a man after 1 or 2 dates. So it goes both ways. TO answer your question directly go have dinner with him, and be very honest and upfront. Talk about allowance $$, talk about sex, talk about relationships. It sounds like you are both straightforward individuals, so it should be an honest talk, don’t hold back. Let me know how it goes :)

      • MzSonnet says:

        Oh I did not say nothing lol. I said I think we should go to dinner and talk face to face. What do you think? I checked my email and he had written before he asked about money asking me when I was free and what I would like to do for dinner.He has offered to travel to me so I am going to take it up on that offer. Sex does not make me feel uncomfortable but as I said I am new at this and I have no problem asking questions. That was advice I had seen on another site. But when you say 1000 is that per week per month., I want to ask for an ideal number but realistic as well. Thank you for you input and I will let you know how it goes. :)

  10. Talking over dinner is the best way I think. This way you can see each other’s body language, expressions etc, which should be very telling.
    The $1000 I mention was basically an example, and it really depends where you live. For example, $1000 can pay your rent in the outskirts of Houston. In the middle of Manhattan, it won’t. So its all relative. If you think that $1000 per month for 1 or 2 dates per month is suitable for you and your specific financial needs, then go for that. If he wants more of your time, then of course he would need to provide more as well. Just don’t get carried away by the tales of people receiving 10K per month. Those are pretty rare, and the last thing you want to do is come off as a gold digger on the first date with someone

  11. Cindy says:

    Hey, I’ve been on a couple of dates with my SD and we’ve started having sex. He has hinted at the money thing before, so I assume he’s just waiting for me to ask. I’ve never been in this type of relationship before so I don’t know how to ask. How do I bring it up? When I ask should I stipulate what I need it for? HELP

    • Lola says:

      Cindy! If the relationship has already gotten physical with no talk of allowance! You must talk immediately. Tell him in the morning or after the fact that you have bills that need to be paid. He’ll prob ask how much and you just give him a number. Then tell him you’d be comfortable setting up an allowance instead of having to ask all the time

  12. Candy says:

    Hi

    I just found this post, I hope you’re still checking replies…

    So I’ve met a guy on a non conventional SD site. He has a great job and is evidently loaded. I would like to have him as a sugar daddy, but as we didn’t meet on a sugar daddy site, I feel awkward bringing up the subject.
    Also how do I being it up? We’ve not had our second date as yet, but I had decided that before it even happens I need to have the discussion with him, but how?

    Thank you

    • hi Candy thanks for your question. You said you met him on a non sugar site? Well, it might be a bit awkward then, because he doesn’t expect to be asked to be your SD. He may be under the impression that you two are dating ‘regular’ and not sugar. That being said you could casually mention that you need a bit of help and whether he would be willing to help you out with X, Y and Z. Don’t sound too greedy. Also if he says no, have a backup plan: do you still plan to see him if he declines? Let me know how it goes

  13. Candy says:

    Hi there

    Thanks for the reply I will definitely let you know what happens. I plan to ask jim with help from a business aspect and see how he reacts.
    I think he knows what’s expected of him, he’s an older man with a great job and income, I’m a younger hot female. I think he shod get it, right?

  14. Candy says:

    Typo should say him (jim)

  15. Apple says:

    Please help I’m a new sugar baby I just went on my first date it went well,so now we are trying to plan a second date however the allowance talk came up..my SD want to offer me $400 for a few hours or maybe overnight to start off, then as things progress we could set a monthly..I was not expecting that especially overnight…what are your taughts need your help ASAP

  16. Mimi says:

    Hi Sugar baby lover, I’m pretty new to this, but have made an arrangement with a great guy. We met & have been talking on the phone, texting, emailing. We will be sealing the deal when I get my allowance shortly, but I would like to know the best way to ask for extras, ie. my nails or hair done, shopping, things like that. I don’t even necessarily mean on our real “date”, but whenever. I have always been one of those women who doesn’t like to ask for things, but I’m ready to be treated like a princess. I just need to learn to ask! Your help is appreciated :)

    • the answer is simple..just ask, very politely, after the arrangement has been going on for a few weeks (i.e. not right away , don’t want to see to greedy):
      “Hey honey can you help me with my gym membership/getting my nails/buying some of by books” etc etc. But make sure the timing is right though, and likely not the same day he is giving you the allowance. A lot of people are turned off by excessive greed, including myself

  17. liv says:

    Hey there nice article.. I recently entered a SD relationship I’m pretty new to this, If a SD offers to take care of you but has not set a flat rate is that acceptable? Also I am a university student should school be included in the monthly allowance? or should that be a different transaction? Would love to get your feed back thank you

    • Well, everything is discussed between two adults. Next time you see him, you should try and see how much $ help he is willing to give you. If it’s in cash (rather than gifts or shopping) you can apply this cash toward rent or school. So it really depends how wealthy and generous he is willing to be. If he gives you a substantial amount that can cover your rent + some school expenses then you lucked out! But if this is to be a relationship, you should ask ‘how much is he willing to help you with each month’. Let me know what he says

  18. Great topic– you’ll only get what you ask for!!

  19. SB Tiff says:

    Hello, great article. I met an older guy outside of a SD website, who seemed like a potential sugar daddy. We met to talk and agreed on the SD/SB relationship, but it wasn’t a typical arrangement. I think he is under the impression that I want just gifts, dinners, vacations, etc. How can I ask for an allowance without 1. sounding like the money is all I care about and without 2. being too pushy since he wasn’t exactly looking for a sugar baby when we met? Thanks for your help!

  20. Hi Tiff, thanks for reading. I think your situation is a sensitive one. You met him outside of this whole sugar world, so if you start asking him directly about money and allowances he will probably get turned off and leave. Unless of course he has been a SD before. So then perhaps you can ask him about relationships he may have had in the past with other younger women. If he has had them before, you may keep asking him about more details like ‘so how did you spoil your other younger girls?’ and see if the subject of $$ comes up. If it never comes up then my guess is to just take the gifts and dinners and travel, and find an allowance daddy someplace else. Let me know how it goes

  21. Alana says:

    Love this blog post. I’m new to the sugar bowl and currently have one sugar daddy I’ve been in relationship for about a month and another that I’ve just met.

    The sugar daddy relationship I’ve been in for about a month is a moderate. He’s not a millionaire but he is well off enough to give me substantial amount of money for hair care when I asked… And within the same day. Mind you, we’re under the arrangement where If I ask he delivers. But I’ve been considerate of the fact he’s not a millionaire and I don’t over do it. Im sure he can afford a monthly allowance but has trust issues due to a few bad experiences with unworthy shady fake sugar babies. How do I approach the subject of a monthly allowance?

    For the new sugar daddy I acquired, he’s amazing. But I myself don’t like each meeting to feel like a transaction and neither does he. He is very well off, in fact I’m sure he’s a multimillionaire. He’s very intriguied by me and during our first meet flat out wanted me to put together a list of things I want and send it his way asap. He has already said he wants to continue seeing me. I don’t want to come off greedy, so how should I go about giving him a list? Or should I not do that and keep it in the realm of a discussion?

    Thanks for your feedback in advance lol 😀

    • Well, you are lucky enough to have 2 SDs and they both seem to like you. With the first one, I don’t think you should be too greedy for now, since he is not too well off. He may panic if you ask him for an allowance and resent you. I say sat as is with the first one.
      Now with the second one, he already asked you for a list of things you want. Perhaps you can tell him that instead of a bunch of things, you just one one thing: an allowance

  22. Jessica says:

    When I was new to online sugar sites, but had lucked out with an SD in the past, I thought there was something wrong with how I broached the topic. Pots kept telling me that I had ruined what would have been something good, by asking, and they were going to spoil me beyond belief, but now they won’t, because they thought I was different than all of those whores and golddiggers on the sugar sites. I didn’t realize this was a common Salt guilt trip maneuver. I wasn’t about to have sex with them after that kind of rudeness, but they always tried for it. Ladies, especially the younger ones, please don’t fall for this.

    • I hear you, you get all kinds of people on those sites (both men and women!). One more point I want to add is this: I understand why some men say what you just describe. I am not excusing it and I a not saying its good. I am trying to explain it. Think o fit from a man’s viewpoint. They are all probably in their 40s/50s and have worked really hard for their money. Most are self made millionaires, and as such they are might be surrounded by hangers and scammers on who just see them as another meal ticket. So when they meet women who feel entitled to huge allowances they cringe and become defensive. I think that most men do want to help, as long s they are eased into it and not pressured into it. Just like a woman might prefer to be eased into sex, and not pressured into it.

  23. kaoby says:

    Hi I’ve been sbabying my pot sd for a year now and I still feel awkward to ask for money. We didn’t discuss the amount when we started out he just said he would be helping me and I be there for him. We broke up for 5 months when he suddenly started becoming very jealous about me and didn’t want me to be with my boyfriend anymore.now we are back and I really want to change what we have and make it what it really is because I feel we missed the point and started treating it like a love affair. Howdo I just start asking for money

    • Hi Kaoby, it sounds that this affair you are having is not sugar dating at all. Just the fact he is jealous about your boyfriend is very telling. Can you find someone else? I don’t get good vibes out of this one. If you want to stay with him just say ‘we met on the premises of a mutually beneficial arrangement, and I do need a bit of help. Can you start helping me out?’

  24. celia says:

    Hey, i’m new so I have meet a SD who does not live in one place. He comes from time to time in paris, so he would like to see me when this is the case, and be paid by day when he come in the city. Not by mounth except maybe in holidays if, we have a good feeling. He proposed me 300euros by meet. Do you think it’s good price ?!

    And, another person I’ve meet come to paris to meet me. He want an arangement with me, but I need to go in london to see him some week-end (agreed in advance) but, how can he take me a tiquet plane without my name ?

    Thx in advance xoxo

  25. Sbsasha says:

    Hi! I recently met a sd through a friend and we have awesome chemistry, I feel like I might even like him on a personal level. We’ve hung out three times, but we haven’t brought up the topic regarding an arrangement or allowance. He’s always asking me what I would like to know about him .. I think that’s a hint to ask about sugaring, but I’m not too sure. Also we seem very into each other and I don’t want him to think I’m after him to date and be in a relationship. I want to bring up the topic of an arrangement/allowance but I’m not sure how without sounding rude!! He’s the absolute sweetest!

    • Hi thanks for reading the blog. If it is an allowance that you are seeking you should just ask him for it! You can say “So, how have you spoiled your girls in the past?’. This could open up the door to more follow up questions and a more serious talk about arrangements. Do it soon , because you need to find out if you are in the same page

  26. Sbsasha says:

    The first time we met I told him I had to get gas and he gave me money right after. But the two times after that I went over to his place I didn’t get anything.. I’m thinking because I didn’t bring up anything?

  27. Confienza K. says:

    I think I should have read this blog before diving into this lifestyle. It seems to me I may have been going about it wrong…….I have met up with a number of potential SDs and had several nice connections. But the guys I have encountered have not brought up money/allowance and while they have taken me out for dinner they then made no move to talk about money, and/or expected a physical relationship without any additional benefits for me as a SB.

    I have found many guys on SA are using it as a traditional dating site instead of it’s stated intent. So are there as many fake/cheap guys in the SD arena as I have been encountering or am I simply going about it wrong?

    Any suggestions, input or advice from my experienced SBs/SDs would be greatly appreciated because I’m getting frustrated. I did take note from several responses from Sugar Daddy David and realized I will likely need to learn to be more direct earlier on but it feels like I’m acting like a whore if they don’t offer and I have to talk about financials without the SD bringing it up. Thanks in advance!

    • You are probably not going at it wrong, its just that with thousands of members, some will be cheap and some will not. The trick is to find the ones that are not cheap. And you will, it just takes timing and a bit of luck

  28. lilly says:

    Hi.
    Thank you for your blog. I’m new to the sugar scene and have yet to get a SD. The problem I have is that I never get responses online. I also *never* receive messages. I have nice pictures, I have an in depth profile that doesn’t say too much but gives enough impression of who I am, and I’m very attractive.

    I’m wondering if maybe it’s because I am black as I have read many online dating studies that show black women get the least amount of messages as any other ethnicity.

    I don’t really know what to do. My messages I send are thoughtful as I read people’s profiles. When I’m not online, I get attention every second of the day. But online It’s like I don’t exist.

    Do you have any suggestions? I literally have 5 messages in my inbox after having my account for 2 months.

    • You are raising a great issue here. You said that offline you get attention all day long, but only you don’t. Thing is….offline you probably just you and one or two girl in a room with guys or in a bar. Online however its you and one thousand other profiles for guys to pick from. So on these sites the numbers are skewed against you. Guys have too many choices. That being send though, I am sure you will find someone, a lot of times it’s just a matter of luck and timing

      • lilly says:

        When I speak to other sugar babies, they say they get messages that same day.
        I mean, I understand there are a lot of choices, but not getting one message seems odd.

        But, the women that tell me they get same day messages are thin, white and/or asian. I don’t even see many black profiles on the sites.

        When I said I get attention every second of the day, let’s say at a bar…I get attention from men when they are even with their GF’s. I will be in a bar with probably about 70-100 women, and when I walk past, I am the one who turns heads.

        Men of all demographics hit on me as well…and depending on the area I am in, white men who clearly have money are all over me. I feel like the biggest issue is that white men want a black woman if it’s a casual free arrangement…but when it comes to someone they consider to be classy and worthy of spoiling, they don’t want us.

        And just a side note, online it’s me and only maybe a handful of other black women. A lot of men when searching for women even leave out “black” in the ethnicity section.

        I guess I was hoping for some profile advice or something to make me stand out but I think that based off of your response, I probably have nothing wrong with my pictures or profile.

        Most wealthy men don’t want to spoil a dark black women and that’s not going to change anytime soon.

        • No One says:

          I am a young black woman from the UK. East African. Considered to be rather beautiful in real life.

          It seems I’m quite popular with black guys, then white guys and asian guys seem not that interested. Yes, some people will ignore black women and others will fetishise us, which I’m also not down for. But it’s not all bad! Be your wonderful true self and SDs will come running. Nothing gets in the way of a truly stunning personality. Now let that weird sense of humour or world perspective out.

        • SB jazminmixed says:

          Hey Chica trust me, I am also black and I know the struggle gets real sometimes. But it’s also how you present yourself and yes sending anywhere between 20-40 messages a day will catch the right one. Also there are a few other sites that we are finding that Caribbean/ African American decent girls get more attention. I have a sugar bowl group that I would love to add you to, where girls that are having problems can get advise and opinions from other caring sb’s… reply let me know if you are interested. We are all here to help..

          Xoxoxo!!

    • Bella says:

      Well I don’t think it’s really true you might not be everyone cup of tea but again if you really want a sugar daddy you have to be classy as most people might put a really trashy photo up on their profile and expect to get a respond regardless if you pretty face or not am carribean myself and I dress very elegant less makeup I know how to present myself and have a stunning personality ,wealthy men wants personality elegance and class,style ,well if you posses all this you should be able to find a sugar daddy .remember your profile picture is what attracts them to you

  29. Nikol says:

    Hi! I’m a new to the SB world. I met my SD on a SD site and he’s truely amazing. On our first date he gave me $300 for my bday and we discussed allowance. After that we’ve met 5 more times. We had sex, went to expensive bars, restaurants, concerts, exhibitions etc. I feel like I’m really attracted to him and like him. he also mentioned that he really likes me. How do I ask for the allowance? I’ve been waiting for him to initiate it but he never did. i dont want to come off as rude if he has feelings for me but I do need the money. Please help

    • Hmm if you already had 5 dates I think you should have asked him. It’s good that you are having a good time and you like him. But just make sure next time you meet you ask for an allowance or at least a gift, if that’s what you are looking for. You should be straightforward and just say “will you be able to help me out with xxxxxx (enter an expense new such as bills or rent etc)”

  30. ChristyR says:

    Hi David, I love your posts :)

    I met my sd or he would preferred to be called part time bf, through SA and i have been seeing him for a month now.
    After eating n walking around the mall we would later chill in a hotel and now i have progressed to him bringing me over to his own house (i think it is a good thing)
    I am just wondering if i am a waste of time or the arrangement will last as i am not a very talkative person. In your opinion would u think i am a boring person for not being talkative? we do talk on some dates but not all dates.
    On our 2nd meet i asked him what he think about us, and his response were positive. So far i am being myself but i was wondering if there is anyway i could not be deemed boring towards my sd? I am wondering if this is considered a problem to u?

    • Hi Christy thanks for reading :)
      Just be yourself, as you are doing. Since he is responding positively to you and invites you over, it means that he thinks you are fine and you are not boring. What matters most is the interpersonal chemistry, and sometimes a few periods of silence enjoying ones company is
      fine too

  31. Shana says:

    As a baby with very little experience, as this is my first time sugaring, and I have this thing called anxiety.. Though my Daddy and I did make the agreement for a monthly allowance, and we met up for a second time today, he told me that I should ask sometimes.. But… I’m actually afraid to ask, or even approach with my hand out. He really enjoys me and I him, but.. This goes with any and every person I know. And it’s just really difficult for me to ask for anything at all.. He says I’m very sweet and a true Daddy’s girl. I just don’t know how to be brave enough to do it.

  32. coco says:

    Hi sugar daddy David, i’ve been on and off the SD thing but I really want to meet one who will take of me and give me the basics and I don’t even have an idea where to meet the potential ones online, the ones i’ve has we’ve always met in person and the whole thing just drifted away, i’ll appreciate suggestions of site I can meet a good SD

  33. Kayla says:

    Hi Sugar Daddy David,
    Thanks for the great post! I’m 19 and sugaring to pay rent, tuition etc. I’ve met up with two pot SDs, and things are going really well with one of them — we’ve set up our second meeting for next week and we’re going back to his place after lunch. The problem is that I’m a virgin. I want to have sex but don’t want to tell him it’s my first time and make it seem like it’s more than it is, but I’m a little scared. Any advice?

    • Hi Kayla, its great that you met someone you like, and its ok to be nervous.
      You don’t have to tell him its your first time, but he will find out anyway, right? It’s up to you and how comfortable you feel, if you want to announce it before anything happens. Personally, it would not bother me if someone told me that. Quite the opposite

  34. Ana says:

    Hello SD David !
    I met a SD last week, I like him, we went to different fancy places, we spent 6 hours together on the first meeting ! we kissed (and a little bit more… But we didn’t slept together) however, we did not talk about any gifts/allowance, I think it is normal as it was the first date.
    We are meeting on Saturday, he is cooking for me at his place and I know that he will want to have sex but I want to have the “allowance talk” before, do you have some advices if I need to start the talk? I don’t need much cash, I’m more into (luxury) shopping so gifts or money to buy it myself.
    Thanks a lot for your post!

  35. Bella says:

    Hi sugar daddy David I have been on a SD site for 4months and I get lots of messages am carribean by nationality but born in UK am very fair I’m complexion which makes some SD thinks am Caucasian oe exotic even after identifying as carribean and am non photogenic but very good looking in person so I blurred my face on my profile I get lots of messages from SD but I have only met 2 who in interested without asking me to send a clear picture of my faces as when I don’t some of them stop communicating my problem now is that sometimes they message and disappear,don’t follow up or decline the allowance is too much of which if I ask for a 100$ upraise then it’s bye ,I met this SD I sort of like him but he never discussed allowance we made out on 1st date ,third date we have sex and he never talked about allowance and still wants to keep seeing me and I feel cheated how do I put it to him that I need an allowance in order for us to keep seeing ?

    • Bell, you don’t have to send anyone any pictures if you are not comfortable with that. We’all have to live with the fact that discretion is quite important to this lifestyle. Now, if you feel cheated from your allowance you should ask him gently what type of spoiling did he have in mind. After all you met on a site directed towards sugar specifically. So its no harm in asking a direct question. If he doesn’t offer one then you can leave him. Or you can keep seeing him if there is real attraction, and at the same time look for another sugar daddy who will give you the allowance you want

  36. Valerie White says:

    Hey!
    So I have been in contact with a potential sugar daddy and he booked me a flight to come see him this coming weekend. We have spent a few hours together on facetime calls and on the phone and we seem to have a connection. He has asked me to stay with him at his house this weekend when I come visit him.. He did give me the address of the place he lives and told me I can call the concierge desk to confirm that he lives there and ask anything I would like to. So I am wondering if this sounds skeptical to you.
    Or should I just ask him to get me a hotel room? I don’t want to offend him.
    Also, how would you reecommend bringing up an allowance if he doesn’t? He says I am his first sugar baby (assuming it works out). Should I open an account to hold the money?

    Thank you

    • Hi there,
      It sounds like this guy is dong all the right things. He booked a flight for you, gave you his address and I assume he also gave you his full name. It sounds kosher, so far. If you are concerned about safety have a plan B. Like think about what happens if you need to leave earlier. Make sure he cant cancel the flight back. Make sure you have enough cash with you for emergencies. Ask him about sleeping arrangements. Ask about allowances.
      Depending how much money he gives you, can keep it at home. You don’t want curious bankers seeing regular large deposits of cash each month into your account. They might think you are a drug dealer or tax evader. Let me know how it goes

  37. CC says:

    Hi, Sugar Daddy David.

    I am seeking an arrangement but don’t necessarily want to go the traditional route to get it. If a potential daddy wants to meet once a week or so for dinner, drinks, chatting, and finishing with some type of intimacy, is $3000 a month too much to ask for as an allowance?

    • hmm i think that $3,000 is too much. At that level its like you are an employee and he is giving you a monthly salary. That level of $, in my mind, should be reserved for family members (i.e. wives) rather than SBs who are basically just casual friends at the end of the day. That being said, I have heard of some SBs getting that and more so it doesn’t hurt to ask

  38. Yvette says:

    Hi there Sugar Daddy David,

    Here is my situation. I was on a non SD site and I got a message from a nice gentleman that told me that “I need a tradional Sugar Daddy”! I was a bit confused for a while but he went on to say he would like to met me in person and take me out to dinner. He read my profile and I have several picture of me and I am very attractive black american lady.
    I told him about my background and he already knew I’m married and I have been sexually starving and bascally on my own finacially seeking employment as a flight attendant soon.
    He was sure he wanted to me me very soon and said he waould be discreet and I could ask him anything. So our first meet will be tomorrow at a coffe shope nearby.
    I have been on the internet all day lerning the role of a SD and SB lol. Now I get it. Hope you able to get this and give me some advice before I meet him tomorrow at 1:15.pm

    I don’t know if I should be dressed up or down, but I’m in need of my monthly mani & pedi and I wont have the time to get one before I meet him. Geesz

    • Hi Yvette, thanks for reading
      It sounds like he is open minded enough to talk sugar with you. And don’t worry about the mani/pedi. Just bring your personality and be honest with him, and let the chips fall where they may. Just show up with a nice outfit but nothing too flashy. Just be well put together and that’s all. I know I make it sound easy, but men usually don’t even notice half the stuff that women worry about when it comes to outfits or hair. Promise. Let me know how it goes

      • Yvette says:

        Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to read and post and reply.
        Sincerely,
        Yvette

        P.S. I will let you know how it goes :)

  39. Yvette says:

    Hi Again Sugar Daddy David:

    I met today with the SD but he says it’s a first time for him. His idea is a wonderful dinner and sex and compainionship. However, I told him I like to dress up in lingerie and stocking, garter and and a different outfit each time we meet. He did hint that he won’t pay rent! but he didn’t mention any money or gifts/ arrangements of such either. He also said he is loaded with money so I am sure he has some to share.
    I was thinking of sending him a copy of a blog on how things work in todays world.
    I figure if I am going to look pretty for this Daddy, he should take me shopping for lingerie. Am I right? Now , should I send him the blog or simply enlighten him on my new research on Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby for mutualy beneficial relationships?
    Again,
    Thank you or your rely in advance,
    Yvette

  40. Yvette says:

    Hey there Sugar Daddy David,

    I decided to go ahead and send him the Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby updated version before I commit to sleeping with this guy. Dinner is fine but id he is calling him self a Sugar Daddy he really needs to be full aware of his responsibilities with the arrangements, therfore it’s layed out on the table and he can tell me what he is offerening.
    One thing that hapened today at the cofe shop, I shoiwed up on time and he was already there and had eatten something and had a drink. He asked me if I wanted a drink but he didn’t get up to get it. I instead went in to get an ice tea.
    #2) First he mentioned an hotel, then down graded to a motel and went on further to meet at his house. All of this changes he’s thinking about money right? I thought kinda ill feelings after he did that. Oh, but, he loves me and wants to want to see me again and wanted to kiss me in my lips. I oblidged. He just might be too cheap for me, but i will keep an open mind.

    • hey did you send him one of my blogs? You perhaps should point him toward my excellent book, ‘Sugar Daddy Diary’ on Amazon.

      Anyway, if he is being indecisive it could be that he just doesn’t know what is appropriate to offer you. In which case, you should just come out and tell him. This way, neither his nor your time is wasted. If he says no, then you can always move on to something else. I see an easy way out of this one

  41. Selene says:

    Hi Sugar Daddy David,
    Thanks for replying to almost all the questions posted by your readers. I had some questions concerning the whole SB/SD relationship (as I am new to it) but they have been resolved after reading the replies you’ve posted so far. Your replies also make your readers feel more….I can’t think of a word for it. Keep it up.

  42. Franny says:

    Hi… I’m new to this and was wondering how to start on finding a Sugar daddy and learning how to be safe and enjoy the company

  43. Harmony says:

    Hello, thanks for sharing all the good info and insight on here! I too am new to this, and have had many responses to my new profile on SA. But I’m kinda in a jam. I have gone on 1 date with a pot. sd who wants to be my 1 and only sd. This would be great if he plans to give me a good allowance. Wich he said would start out as a “per meet” then move to a monthly thing. He did give me $100 for gas after our meet wich was nice because it was a 2 hr drive. But he didn’t say how much allowance and I’m worried it might not be enough for my needs. Also he kinda jumped right in on the sexual stuff .after lunch he took me to his office and just started putting his hands down my pants and kissing me.. had i only got a $100 if things went further id probably would of cried. ..but i really need a sd and some sugar NOW. I am in desperate need to install a heating unit in my cabin and it’s gonna be like $1000. Also I could use some sugar for the holidays. I don’t want to ask for it especially being that we are just starting out. He wants to meet agaon this week im almost certaim he will want sex but how do i make sure i get what i need too? And if he isn’t going to give me enough how do I tell him I can not afford to be exclusive with him? I’m not a gold digger, i do work too. . but like everyone else I am looking for arrangements for a reason while also hoping to genuily enjoy the SB lifestyle. Please help..what do i do.

    • Simple: if you need the money, ask for it, before you proceed with anything further. And if he says no, you can make the choice of staying with him just for the fun of it or move on and find another SD who will give you the money you need. You met for an arrangement, so he shouldn’t be surprised by your question

  44. Lacey says:

    Hey David,

    So I’m in a pickle. I meet this guy on Craigslist almost a year ago for NSA one night stand thing he’s 33 I’m 20, after that we couldn’t get enough of each other. I stayed of his place probably 3+ Nights a week, dinners hanging out all day having fun for almost 2 months. I figured out pretty fast he was well off. Nice high rise building in downtown, and a fancy job. But a sweet heart. I was thinking about discussing a sugar baby relationship but never felt right asking. I didn’t want to seem like a gold digger because I really like him. We stop seeing each other during the summer because of travel and work. But have been seeing him once or twice a month this past fall and winter. 2 months ago he found my profile on a SD/SB site. We laugh and found it ironic and funny. I jokingly discuss being his sugar baby here and there to see his reaction. All positive but never found the right moment to seriously ask until yesterday night. I’m struggling pretty bad financially and just came out and ask. Surprisingly he responding very positively and said he was happy to help. I want to eventually transition it to a regular thing but don’t know how to ask or how much? I work and have a decent place. I just don’t want him to view me less than or a gold digger and I want to keep our relationship the same.

    • I think you should ask him nicely and politely to explain any reasonable financial need you might have. Most people would be open to that.However, if you didnt meet under sugar dating premises to begin with, it might be hard to make this transition. What will you do if he says no? And if he says yes, he might start seeing you in a different light. Can you find a sugar daddy elsewhere? If you have a good relationship with him, you may not want to jeopardize it

      • Lacey says:

        Thanks for the fast reply,

        You are right and I should definitely go slow with it. I just asked for $850 for a bill. I never asked for anything before. we have great sexual chemistry and great friendship. I’m probably going to have a serious talk about it when he’s back for vacation. I honestly think we are at a level where it wouldn’t change much since he knows me on a personal level. I honestly don’t feel like going though the whole process of looking for a SD. To much of a picky and prideful personality haha and let’s be real there’s a lot of wanna be’s and scammers on those sites. I ideally want it be FWB situation where he spoils me here and there. I do not want it to be a transition thing or me being reliant on him. I’ll definitely keep you updated on how this all turns out.

  45. Realperson says:

    Hi, you are all relpulsive and vomit enducinging people. Get a job. :)

  46. Andy says:

    Hey David!
    So I recently met this SD off a SD/SB website and he asked me openly what I would like to be spoiled with. I’m a little un-experienced with all this so I don’t really know how to ask… Usually the men ask for my paypal and that’s it

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