Sugar babies: learn how to ask for sugar

One thing that many sugar babies need to learn, if there are to pursue a ‘career’ in this lifestyle and also maximize their returns is to know how to ask for sugar.  I am only half joking about the ‘career’ thing.  Many women do this for some solid financial reasons i.e. to get out of debt,  pay for school etc. These are great reasons and of course, financially more legitimate than shoes or bags.  I do agree that shoes look very nice on, but don’t get me started on this, ok?

There are a few personality traits that may hold back the SB from asking for what she feels she deserves.

1.  Shyness:  Perhaps she is naturally shy and just doesn’t feel comfortable asking a total stranger for money or an allowance.  I fully understand this, but also bear in mind that the two of you are in this lifestyle for a reason. The sugar daddy expects you, at some point, to ask for something.  So go ahead and do it.

2.  Gold Digging:  Many that I have met have a strong sense of pride by the way they were brought up at home, and at first think ‘I don’t want a man to pay my rent or my bills’.  And the answer to this is ‘Well, then you are barking up the wrong tree’.  In my opinion it is only considered gold digging if the guy doesn’t realize it is. But, again, we are all in this lifestyle for a reason therefore it is not a bad thing to ask us.  The worse that will happen is that we will say no.  But if you don’t ask you will certainly not get. Not in the sugar life, nor in real life. Think about it: you even have to ask Santa Claus for a gift.  So much more then, in sugar life.

3.  Lack of practise: Maybe the lady is not used to asking.  So of course she doesn’t know how, especially in what may seem and awkward first or second date with her sugar daddy.   Practise at home with the words, until they become second nature. Think of this as if you are acting for a part in a movie about mutually beneficial relationships.

Here is some basic advise:

1. Ask for the gifts or the allowance in person, or at the most via email. Not through text, as text is too short for something as nuanced as talking about the aspects of a mutually beneficial relationship.  Even email is not good for this.  It is better to do in person, this way you can see each other’s reactions and gage better how to proceed.  You can also tell if someone is lying or is uncomfortable.  If they are too uncomfortable, the perhaps you should move on. 

2. Bring it up after chemistry is established, but early enough in the relationship.  First you need to have chemistry with the person you will be spending 3 dates a month. If it is there, then don’t wait too long to bring it up. A second or third date at most is appropriate. I would even say the second date should be the max. If he is experienced he will bring it up himself. He may even lead with a question about whether you have had similar relations in the past and how did that work for you. Or, you may ask him exactly the same thing. This way, it is not an awkward question, and can flow naturally into the allowance discussion.

3. Don’t be taken advantage of. If nothing has happened by the third date move on. This also goes for sugar daddies. If it seems that the sugar baby is stringing you along, she probably is and it is a red flag for a scammer. Get out of there, fast!

A while back, I met the world’s worse sugar baby.  She said that it wouldn’t feel right to ask. But I liked her a lot and wanted to help her. So I stuffed a bunch of cash in her hand with the lame excuse of ‘Can you please hold this, I don’t feel comfortable walking around with all this cash in New York City’.

And remember, this is not a real relationship, but an experience in the ‘grey’ area of relationships.  It is enough of a relationship, but not too much as it is NSA. It is a bit of a transaction but not too much either, otherwise the whole thing becomes totally meaningless.

In the words of one of my all time favorite sugar babies, Malone, ‘Davey, you are a nice guy and I like you. But the allowance reminds me it is not personal’.  Out of the mouths of babes.  She is a lawyer. The world’s 2nd oldest profession…

This entry was posted in Dating, mutually beneficial relationships, sugar baby allowance, Sugar Daddy. Bookmark the permalink.

110 Responses to Sugar babies: learn how to ask for sugar

  1. Ari says:

    Hi sugar daddy David,
    I met this guy on a non SD website. *Disclaimer never been a SB before. We went on one date and all we did was talk about life experiences and nothing really flirty. I do know he’s loaded because he lives in TriBeCa and also owns a company. He paid for my Uber to get home which was over a $100 after the dinner. The next day he asked me if I’m having sex with another guy, I told him no. After that he started replying sexually. Then he texted me this “let’s play”, I didn’t really give him a response since I didn’t know what to say thus he stopped texting me for a bit. He suddenly text me out of nowhere let’s fuck. For one I really want to know how to ask him if he’s open to being in a mutual beneficial relationship but I don’t know how to bring it up to him.

    • Just be honest and straightforward like he is. He is texting you “let’s fuck” without even really knowing you… there is no harm in letting him know “well, I was actually looking for a sugar daddy”. If he never replies …then you have your answer.

  2. C says:

    Please please please can you help me out, I have this sugar daddy that I have known for over 2 years now, when we first started talking a was only just 18 so it was mainly just texting/ calling and emails.

    We stopped speaking last year as a family matter came up which just put my whole life on hold.

    He recently just emailed me asking if I wanted some money, so we have started talking again (I have never met him) but always ask when he’s free to see me, right now he’s really busy with work so he said middle of feb which is fine for me.

    We have a great connection and a great sexual chemistry which I know we have because he said he dreams about me.
    I feel like we ain’t really getting anywhere and that I do things to make him happy but he does not do the same, he keeps saying he will buy me things when he sees me but expects me to send pictures all the time and keep him on his toes.

    I’ve never asked him for anything this was the first time and he just said he will buy me everything when he see me

    I’m a just expecting too much ?
    Is he a fake ?
    I really don’t know what to think please can someone help?

    • Have you met him at all? Or is this just an online relationship? Without meeting in person it’s hard to say if he is fake or not. To be on the safe side don’t give him too much personal information and request you two meet. Take it from there

  3. NonExperiencedBaby says:

    I am just new to this sugar relationship. Im a male Bi at early 20s and I have a potential sugar daddy. He’s late 40s but still good looking and these daddies are just my preference. We met in a Sauna, he showed me his dick and I grabbed it. He froze and felt abused but he liked it. He was aroused with my aggressiveness, a younger guy taking advantage of an older man. I now have established that I am a Dominant one and he is my little bitch, he wants to be my bottom.

    I am inexperienced to all this. How can I turn this situation into making him my sugar daddy?

    Ps. He is also inexperienced to all this stuff, how can i establish the sugar relationship?

    • You would have to talk to him and you need to agree to the ground rules from the start, allowances , how many times a month you will meet etc. I am assuming that you and he already met with sugar in mind , so a discussion about the arrangement should flow naturally

      • NonExperiencedBaby says:

        We haven’t met since the sauna event. I was only able to grab his dick for few seconds then it was interrupted. He gave me his skype.

        How to tell him that im his sugar baby and i need something for him on subtle way?

        How to also introduce the sugar thing, if i am not sure if he’s up for it?

  4. Maria says:

    Hello..I really hope you reply this, I have just met a potential SD..and he says ours is just for companionship and no sexual stuff, just texting and sharing intimacy, I suspect this might be a ruse tho.. Question is how do I get him to pay me for my time of being there and taking care of him…first SB and I don’t knowhow to go about it

    • Its simple actually: just be open and honest with him. Since this involves some of your time, decide what is fair compensation and then tell him, nicely, that you would appreciate some help at this time in your life. Whats the worse that can happen…
      This will be easier if you guys met through a sugar site by the way

  5. Marzah says:

    David… ive always had sugar daddies growing up because my mother taught me as a young girl… but I’m new to doing it with definition i e on mutual platform… in the past meeting men has been natural.. so my needs came up naturally… but now on this site when i meet men they are aggressive … one has had sex with me already on the first date.. he texts me daily… not too much though … i don’t want to ask too soon as im assuming he doesn’t want to do ppm but give me an allowance… but I’m also in need currently… is it worth it to ask or should i stick to the casual route and assume a lump sum allowance is coming soon ? Hes mentioned successful relationships in the past so…

    • I wouldn’t assume anything if I were you.
      If you want something , ask for it. Since you already had sex and you havent asked for anything yet, maybe he thinks this is ‘vanilla’ dating and not sugar dating. So you should really clarify the situation, this way neither one of you is confused

  6. Janay Stephenson says:


    I’ve just met a potential sugar daddy but I was a bit shy, left the conversation with an indirect answer. COntext: we ment for lunch and in the course of conversation he offered to fly me out to South Florida. I said ‘Ohhh you’re trying to be my sugar daddy I see’ he asked if that’s what I wanted and really my answer wasn’t as upfront as it should have been, I’m new to this. So I want to open the conversatio again to establish that relationship. I just want to do so respectfully. Should I wait for a second date or just message him. How do I go about bringing it up in a cool but direct way?

    • You should text him again and ask him ‘hey it’s xxxxx, if you were serious about that Florida trip I think I may take you up on that offer’. See what he says. Just make sure the accommodations are in your name so you are not left hanging if things don’t go well. And make sure he is not a serial killer lol

  7. Princess says:

    Hi..I really need a sugar daddy but they’re no legit SD sites around here. I always get a lot of compliments on how fine I am, how do I attract a sd

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