How to be a sugar daddy and not get caught

As you’ve probably guessed, I am extremely discreet. Any man who wants to stay married, but decides he needs, or wants, to step outside the marital boundary, whether once in awhile or as a lifestyle, has to learn discretion – and not just at home.  Stealth is itself an art that the discreet Sugar Daddy must carefully cultivate.

Some Stealth tips

No Money Trail. Why re-invent the wheel? Learn from criminal history: the Feds couldn’t nail Al Capone for decades, until they decided to follow the money trail – his money trail.  You can learn a lot by studying Law & Order episodes – first and foremost, to leave no money trail. Develop the habit of paying with cash, even though it’s somewhat unusual in our plastic-card culture – better to give an impression of eccentricity than to get caught. Open a separate checking account at a small regional bank and fund it at random intervals with cash deposits of less than $500 each.  Do Not make regularly scheduled and/or large deposits or withdrawals – that’s the first thing any investigator looks for. I learned from my early role models the fun of subtly revealing my wads of bills. I always carried a lot of cash for dinners, hotels, and gifts. Occasionally I’d charge a bar tab or a restaurant meal, since in my business I sometimes treat clients or colleagues, but even that I kept to a minimum. Don’t buy anything incriminating online, ever!

Receipts. Paying with cash still produces paper – the receipt!  Hide or destroy them immediately. Mask SB purchases with innocent items – for instance, if you’re buying perfume, throw some shaving cream or deodorant in with it, and pay for everything together. You might get away with flowers once in awhile (as if for your assistant or secretary), but don’t do it too often. As for lingerie and sex toys: pay cash and burn the receipt as soon as you leave the shop. If you’re a stickler for record-keeping, you’ll have to get over that, or simply not buy anything that can’t be hidden, such as the last two items; don’t even try.

Keep A Few Back Stories Handy. For instance, at home or among friends, casually mention the name of your work assistant. Then if someone happens to see you with a younger woman, you can always use the “assistant-from-work-who-wants-career-advice” as a cover.

Identity. Should you use a pseudonym? I have done so several times, but I felt ambivalent about it – if you run into someone you know the situation can get dicey. One Sugar Baby I met used a fake name at first, but she later slipped and referred to herself by her real name.  When I called her on it, she admitted she’d used her middle name as her first, along with an aunt’s last name.  I admired her creativity, but, as she proved, using a fake name has its pitfalls.

Should you decide to go the pseudonym route, I recommend using your middle name, since it will feel more natural. Practice saying it to yourself in front of a mirror, until it becomes second nature.

For more such tips, read my Fact Sheet #3, in my book ‘Sugar Daddy Diary’ on

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One Response to How to be a sugar daddy and not get caught

  1. CaibbeanPrincess says:

    May I add…the NO use of soap when you wash after? The soap, specially those at hotels have a distinct smell that wives can tell the difference between that and the one regularly use at home. Use water, but no soap.

    No pictures! Period!!! You don’t need a memento that someday can backfire in your face.

    Your book is a great tool, not only for a SD, but for a SB. It gave me opportunity to look at the other side of the sugar window.

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