From an article I recently saw ‘New York Mag’, a young lady’s account of her trying to be a SB.
Text from Potential SD: “I called but you did not answer.” No shit. I don’t want to be a “sugar baby” but at this point it’s an issue of survival. Survival vs. Morality, I guess. I’ve been stealing toilet paper and eating Boogers’s leftovers because I’m too broke to buy lunch.
Survival vs Morality: wow. Is that what some SB’s think? is the situation really so dire? Because if it is they would just cringe, bite the bullet and then go ahead and sleep with someone just to be able to pay their rent. I was in a similar situation in 1990 (seems so long ago now) fresh out of college, $65 in my checking account, and my share of rent being $450 in Manhattan. Placed an ad looking for a sugar momma. No takers! And back then I was cute with a well defined six pack and a swimmers build. Go figure.
Sent out 300 resumes. Got a job offer just in time. I have no idea what I would have done otherwise. Now, reading this article in the magazine, I am wondering how many of all the SB’s I slept with actually cringed, closed their eyes and did me. Did they enjoy it? or was it just paying their rent? I guess I will never know. Had fun though…
Very interesting David! I hate to say it but I have also seen that trend with some newbie SB's who I chat with, and they are all about feeling disgusted with the age of their SD. Some hide it well and some just string them along without intimacy for months and when finally the SD gets frustrated they go Poof and move on to the next. I think it is even worse now as we have so many Craig's List escorts that have moved onto the sugar sites.
I recently did a series about quality versus quantity with my quality list for a SD and asked another SD from the site I search on to think about addressing the quality of SB's in his blog. For me, all my former SD's were men of quality… and it was based on mutual respect and admiration which when you have this for a basis in ones sugar relationship it not only has longevity but when it ends you still have a wonderful friend.
That's a great topic. I shall address at some point soon. I have to say that I was one of the lucky ones that got both quality and quantity
Maybe because I could sense lack of quality by instinct in certain SB's, and never stuck around to find out for sure.
In my book, unless you are totally destitute and about to get evicted, you really should pick SD's carefully, as you would anything else.
I hate to say that,yes I'm somewhat in the situation now(although not that I can't pay my rent and food),but I'm urgently needing someone to cover my school fee! Interesting share though,I believe theres quiet an amount of SBs out there are struggling in life. Loving your blog as always!
@Anny: best wishes. it all turns around, and years later you will be laughing at the present time looking back. One more interesting story: my then roomate (also a starving student), always found money to tip the waitress. What a nice guy. even though we were starving!
Great post! Really makes one think.
I'm not a SB, although I wouldn't complain if one wanted to be my SD… However, I naturally feel a stronger sexual connection with mature men rather than the younger ones. I wouldn't cringe having sex with someone 3 times my age, quite the opposite really, I'd lean back and enjoy… Or bend over… Or whatever…
The sugar coating, to me, would be the desert rather than the main…
@O: yum
I am wondering how many of all the SB's I slept with actually cringed, closed their eyes and did me. Did they enjoy it? or was it just paying their rent?
It's easy to tell by how long they last. Those that cringe and bear it just to pay rent won't last more than a few meetings.
A lot of girls say they have to get very drunk or that they cringe when with an SD. I can appreciate that if one is fighting for survival they will do things regardless of personal wants. But there are many girls who are not struggling and still put themselves through that. It's the power of the money, honey!
I'm in a position where I can be selective, but if my circumstances were to go sharply downhill tomorrow, who knows how that would affect my personal choices?
I am also in the position where I am able to be selective – I'm not looking for a means to "get by". I suppose if you look back and think about the SB's that you were with, would they have been fine without you, or did you support them? (Think about could they support their quality of life before your assistance enhanced it)
When I started my search for a sugar daddy, I looked at it as just that – a means of "survival". Of course, I wasn't starving, nor was I homeless, nor jobless, but I could use some serious help with tuition. At that point, I was in an arrangement with a much older, but also unattractive, and generally unpleasant man who did provide me with an appealing allowance. I guess I didn't even question it – I figured "well this is what you have to put up with if you want five figures added to your bank account every month". That approach got old rather quickly as it became apparent my time with said SD left me lifeless.
With time and experience, I become more selective in my search and have since only been in arrangements with men I was genuinely attracted to. The attraction factor, fyi, has nothing to do with age, a little with looks, a little with shape, and everything with SD's personality.
@Sugar Love: Ditto on the personality factor even from a SD's perspective. It's not the hardest bod that gets the SD's attention, it is the combination of enough good looks with a great personality that makes the whole thing long lasting and worth the effort.
Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.
- Daniel
What’s interesting to me is that I am running into this the other way around. Sugar Daddys thinking they can ask me to strip on camera…in the first conversation. As though I am desperate for their attention/money. I am seeking a man who appreciates the art of being a woman and has the means to support me, not out of desperation but out of being board with uneducated, listless young men.
It seems to me the art of the courtship has been lost though. Effort on both sides is needed o make everyone comfortable. I think if more SD put in the effort to court their SB, they would find much less cringing
I moved to a city with $35 once… Yep. Remarkable story. I’ll have to share it sometime. If I can do it. Anyone could do it.
Wow Marie: would love to hear the story sometime
survival>morals. understand that SOME sds are invasive, rude, act like you are a posession, arrogant, rude in public to waitstaff! !, etc , give off the vibe of thinking they are superior. YES the sb that grits her teeth and rolls her eyes while on the phone with her SD is more common than you probably think… I have had Sds that i secretly HATE And been in arrangements that i secretly HATED. NOT KIDDING! The world keeps spinning and the bills keep piling up whether you have the money or not and whether you’re between sds or whatever your situation is, and whether you CAN or CANT stand the guy willing to pay them!
I’m guilty of the dramatic eye roll while telling the SD whatever will keep my bills paid… sometimes accompanied by the “jerking off” hand motion, but only on the phone or when I am so sick of him that I must stop pretending I don’t hate him and myself for sinking to the lowest common denominator.
It always starts as a biting the bullet/sleeping with some self involved guy that wouldn’t be my idea of the pick of the litter but given enough time every now and then you do hit it off with someone and can start to view them ALMOST as if they were just another guy you would date for free. Probably similar to how SD’s view SB’s; only exchange “just a willing vagina and some small talk” with “just an open wallet and some small talk”.